Hobo with a Shotgun

Another Grindhouse trailer come to life, though in a far less accomplished package than Machete. Maybe it's not fair to compare inexperienced director Jason Eisener to the cinematic whiz Robert Rodriguez, but you have to accept those comparisons when you're treading in the same water. Hobo is fun in a way, particularly if you're into the gore and squirting blood of video game kill shots. It reminded me of the Rock Star game, Manhunt. Or any first-person shooter, really. And Rutger Hauer is always cool in his B-movie legend way. This is a pretty solid homage to those 70s/80s urban wasteland stories where entire cities are overrun by gangsters and punks. Yet there's something missing.

I've already heard talk of this film being a "cult classic," and, well, that's ridiculous. While there are other variables, the basic formula to achieve cult status is Camp + Time. And while "cult" has been overused to the verge of uselessness, "camp" is usually applied even more indiscriminately. Not all bad movies are campy. Almost all of them are just bad. And not all movies that attempt to be campy are actually campy. Almost all of them are just sad. There's a certain earnest charm needed for true camp, a sincere attempt to make a "good" film undermined by a complete lack of ability and/or resources. I think the Hobo makers confused their ultraviolence with campiness. There's no accompanying wit to the onslaught, no offsetting comedic undertone outside the title. Believe it or not, Hauer doesn't even get any cool one-liners even though the entire movie is set up for that. This wasn't not entertaining. It just wasn't as good as it could have been. Or, rather, as worse. MINUS

My 3 favorite Rutger Hauer roles? The Hitcher, Blind Fury, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.