Contagion

One of the scariest movies of my lifetime is one I didn't even see at first. It was the Fall of 1983, right in the gut of Reagan-era Cold War paranoia and ABC decided it was time to play on everyone's #1 fear, nuclear war (the Pac-Man fever epidemic being #2). When The Day After premiered it did so behind a genius marketing campaign that warned parents to keep their children away. The network set up a 1-800 number for worried viewers to call. They played the second half of the movie commercial free. And, most unbelievably of all, they aired an actual intellectual discussion after the film featuring none other than Carl Sagan and William F. Buckley. They weren't messing around. I remember hearing about it on the school bus the next day from a friend whose parents didn't seem to care about his fragile young psyche. And then I forgot about it until the day, years later, when I caught a re-airing on cable. And damn if I wasn't grateful for having avoided a childhood full of nightmares.

The key to good horror--and really that's what this was--is the feeling of helplessness instilled in the viewer. What can we possibly do if our leaders decide to start throwing missiles at each other? As rhetorical as that sounds, I'll still answer to stress my point: Nothing. We can't do anything to stop the bombs from falling or to reason with a great white shark or hide form deadly virus. The key to good horror is to make us realize how weak and human we really are. The Day After was successful by showing how easily normal, middle American life can be reduced to ashes. Despite it being such a politically-charged issue, there really was no political agenda behind the film itself. It said, this is what would happen, and really there was no spinning that reality. It was frightening in how low key and stark the presentation was. You thought, uh, yeah, this could actually happen.

Viruses can happen, too. They have. Worldwide pandemics are part of our history and, as cyclically ignorant as we would like to pretend to be, they will be part of our future. So, it's odd that there have not been many cinematic attempts to capture the terror of a global outbreak in a realistic, non-zombie way. Well, there was Outbreak (1995), of course, although all I really remember about that was it starred Dustin Hoffman and monkey who later was on Friends (that was the same monkey, right?). That was the height of the Ebola virus, which we were told was going to kill us all. SPOILER ALERT: It didn't. But the fact that the movie itself was not very memorable even though it tackled a timely legitimate real world fear came to mind as I watched Steven Soderbergh's updated (though monkey-free) version, Contagion.

Contagion is a well made film. It's directed by Steven Soderbergh and has an all-star cast of quality actors (and as I've said before, Matt Damon is at the top of his game right now, the kind of actor whose presence alone makes movies better). But...there's something missing. The idea of a quickly-spreading deadly virus is terrifying, but that threat never felt immediate. The number of victims in this movie is staggering, yet the impact never hit home. I'm not sure if it was because they try to spread the drama too wide (I still don't understand Marion Cotillard's storyline other than she was not on screen nearly enough) or if the action moved too fast. Something stopped it from connecting on that visceral level that movies like this need to work. I certainly didn't dislike this movie, but I can't help but wonder what the point was. Here's the virus, here's what happens, here's the cure, the end. It's all very clinical. I'd say it needed more heart, but I don't want this to start sounding like a hack sports column. MINUS

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

So, James Franco is a criminally irresponsible scientist who tortures animals so he can cure his father's Alzheimer's which is the exact same plot as the far superior Deep Blue Sea, except with chimps instead of sharks. And that's not an insignificant difference, either, as nobody cares about sharks. Anyway, he works at one of these high tech labs that movies like this always feature and that always place such a high value on "profits" that they will back an experimental drug based on the handsome scientist's assurance that it basically works. Here that means until a chimp goes nuts and wrecks the place. Fair enough.

Except that the chimp went nuts not because of the drug but because she was trying to protect her newborn baby that no one in the lab seemed to know existed. They didn't even know she was pregnant. This chimp they spent millions of dollars testing and observing. Then again, this is the same lab that hired James Franco as its lead researcher.

But leave it to our boy James not to be discouraged. Not only does he take the baby chimp home to live with him, but he decided that the father he cares so much for would make the perfect subject on which to test his untested drug. Not only does it work--his dad can act like John Lithgow again--but the baby chimp, Caesar, is really freaking smart. Like, its mother genetically passed down the drug smart.

So a few years go by and Caesar is really smart now, for a chimp, and everything is sweet and rosy until one day Caesar gets out (yes, he's still living with Franco and dad) and bites the finger off a neighbor. Not good. So Caesar is taken to an ape sanctuary outside of town (the town being San Francisco). Even though we are led to believe the sanctuary is either government-run, or at least sanctioned, it is run by Bryan Cox and his evil twerp son, Draco Malfoy, as a mini primate prison. It's like Midnight Express for monkeys. But James Franco is too heartbroken to check out the facility and so leaves poor Caesar alone in the big house. There's a brief scene where Franco acts like a dick to a city clerk by trying to get his court date moved up, though why he isn't in jail for illegally housing a vicious animal is never explained. Or why his neighbor chose not to sue him for everything he had. Also, his dad dies, though we're not sure if it's from years of injections of the drug. Also, his lab assistant dies, though we are sure it is from minor exposure to the drug. It's a finicky drug.

Inside monkey hell, Caesar eventually gets even smarter somehow and manages to escape back to Franco's house to steal two canisters of the super drug out of the fridge and expose all his other inmates to their Brainiac effects. Instantly, all the other apes, including an orangutan and a gorilla, are people smart and they go Attica on the place. They escape and invade San Fran because why wouldn't they. I should also mention that Caesar can now speak. I'm not a scientist but I don't think that's how biology works.

Anyway, the number of escapees somehow triples and they all descend on the city to go apeshit. They even spring their cousins from the zoo and, despite not having been exposed to the drug in any way, the zoo chimps join right in. There are also more orangutans and gorillas for no explained reason.

Allow me to pause here and link to this article that points out that there are only 23 known apes in the Bay area at the present time.

Back to the movie, the apes are rampaging across the Golden Gate and they overrun the comically inept SFPD who can't shoot straight and are really good at running in fear. Caesar them leads his army to their new life among the Redwoods. The end.

This, of course, is supposed to lead to this small band of apes evolving beyond humanity and taking over the entire world. I can't wait for the sequel. MINUS

Win Win (2011)

Hey, Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan! That's half a plus already (the line gong down; anyone who starts their plus sign with the horizontal line is a damn sociopath). But, wait, there's more: as in, one of the best films of the year so far. Really, this is the rare nice movie that isn't sappy or preachy. And just when you think it's going to lose its way and throw in a sensational plot twist, it doesn't. Credit goes to director Thomas McCarthy, who is developing into a must-follow filmmaker (The Station Agent, The Visitor). SMC fans will know him as sleazy journalist Scott Templeton from The Wire. I also need to mention Alex Shaffer, who plays the high school wrestler Giamatti and Ryan take in, and his pitch-perfect teen monotone. Oh, and the always welcome sight of Burt Young. Paulie! PLUS

 

Playlist

Thor (2011): A big-budget superhero movie directed by an artsy foreign director? What could go wrong? Okay, that, but this is not that. This isn't some random geek-baiting project. This is Shakespeare whore Kenneth Branagh's entry into Marvel's well-oiled, corporate-controlled build-up to their epic Avengers project that hopefully won't epically fail. Whatever happens with The Avengers, Marvel and Paramount deserve credit for having a plan and sticking to it, something that just about never happens in Hollywood. And this is a pretty good film on its own. Chris Hemsworth brings his acting chops to the title role, Natalie Portman is her usual Natalie Portman self, and Tom Hiddleston as Loki is the love-to-hate supervillian previous Marvel films have been missing. (Anthony Hopkins is here, too, as Odin, but he's been in so many movies that I don't even register him anymore.) Speaking of geekbait, there's a bonus cameo by Jeremy Renner as future Avenger Hawkeye.  PLUS

Hanna (2011): Genetically-enhanced killer little girl on the run from CIA mastermind Cate Blanchett and her southern accent. Sounds fun, right? And, after a bit of a slow start, it is. And then it becomes an actual good movie, no doubt thanks to the guiding hand of director Joe Wright, best known for inaction films Atonement and Pride & Prejudice. It's very well shot with some fantastic visuals and shot and location choices. Definitely worth a watch and I'd be interested to hear what you thought of the ending. PLUS

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (2010): A lot of foreign films are really just American films in a different language, so it's interesting to come across one that is truly reflective of its native culture. Unfortunately, as in the case here, I think an unfamiliarity with Thai culture and history prevented me from ultimately appreciating this film. I have to give it the benefit of the doubt since director Apichatpong Weerasethakul (suck it, spellcheck)  won the 2010 Palme d'Or, and while I understand it, I was not able to enjoy it. In short, it's slow. Or as critic Sukhdev Sandhu described it while awarding it a perfect score, "It’s barely a film; more a floating world. To watch it is to feel many things – balmed, seduced, amused, mystified." That's a good review? No mention of the woman who has sex with a catfish?* Seriously, movie critics are such pricks. MINUS

*Yes, that happens.

Playlist

Paul (2011): If you like stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, then you'll like this. While they'll probably never again reach the brilliance of Shaun of the Dead, there's nothing wrong with hitting a level of consistent likability. Speaking of which, the main praise here should, believe it or not, be reserved for the way the wise-cracking titular alien voiced by Seth Rogan is NOT annoying. That's no small feat (for a CGI character or for recent Rogan). Kristin Wiig is in this, too. Is she funny? I think so. As for Pegg and Frost's usual cohort, director Edgar Wright was off filming Scott Pilgrim, but was replaced by Superbad's Greg Mottola. Not a bad sub. PLUS

White Material (2009): Here's the difference between this and director Claire Denis' 2008 film, 35 Shots of Rum: tension. As you may remember, 35 Shots was a minus for me for the simple reason that nothing happened in the way that only nothing can happen in a French film. While WM isn't exactly Crank, at least there's a pulse. Isabelle Huppert gives a strong performance as a woman trying to hold together her coffee plantation as the violence of the unnamed African nation's civil war closes in. And get this: her husband is played by none other than Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert, or as he's billed her, Christophe. I always felt that "r" was the only thing standing between him and an Oscar for Fortress. So, yes, I see now why Denis is so revered as a director. PLUS

Card Subject to Change (2010): This is a doc about the world of indie wrestling. If you know anything about the subject, you know it's inherently sad. It's a world where guys destroy their bodies for $50 a night if they're lucky. Even sadder are the former industry stars, guys (and gals) like Kevin Sullivan, Billy Kidman and Sherri Martel, who went from performing in front of thousands in arenas to a dozen goobers in VFW halls. And then there's the Ugandan Giant Kamala. Still around. Did you know he has released several R&B albums? Comes across as a real nice guy. While CStC isn't as good as 1999's Beyond the Mat, it's still a fascinating watch if you're into the scene. PLUS

Playlist

Oldboy: Not sure why it took me so long to see this, but that kind of thinking isn't going to get us anywhere, now is it? This 2003 South Korean film by director Park Chan-wook has become something of a cult classic, though I think that's selling it a little short. No doubt it's considered "cult" because it's foreign, but not everyone is as worldly as we are here at SMC. The High Life is Worldwide, baby. Yeah, so, this is really good. It has a reputation for its violence, but it plays more psychological, like Fincher's The Game or Nolan's Memento. Two scenes stand out: the eating of a whole live octopus and a fantastic side-scrolling one-shot fight. Neither done with CGI, if you can imagine such a world. Yes, there's an American remake on tap. And yes, it's being directed by Spike Lee (wait, what?). I don't see the point, but I don't think there is one. Remember when I said I liked the American remake of Infernal Affairs better because of it was amplified by its star power? Maybe proposed re-star Josh Brolin will do fine, but Choi Min-sik brings a big star presence to the title role that will be very hard to equal. PLUS

Source Code: We at SMC are big fans of Duncan Jones' 2009 debut, Moon, so we couldn't wait for his follow-up earlier this year. Not enough to actually go to the movies, but excited nonetheless. So? While it's not the follow-up I was hoping for from Jones, it's a very well done sci-fi film. The thing about Moon was how it was so different than other movies being made, a completely anti-Hollywood minimalist take on the genre. Source Code is more of the high concept thriller we are used to, but you can see the difference a quality director can make. It would be very easy to lose control of the idea of having a soldier's consciousness continuously sent back in time to relive the last eight minutes of someone's life in order to discover why a train was blown up. Hell, I had to take a break during that last sentence. But, this film works, and it keeps its focus to simply tell that story. It doesn't cram in some conspiracy subplot or try to make the story bigger than it is. It is what it is, and it's good. And what's the deal with Jake Gyllenhaal? He's becoming a pretty solid go-to actor. Reminds me of where Matt Damon started. Next stop is being good in everything he's in and then to where Damon is now--making movies better just by being in them. So, Jake, that's a "no" to Prince of Persia 2. PLUS

13 Assassins: What Vin said. I have seen Seven Samurai and this holds its own with that classic. Only criticism: there's a very bad CGI scene featuring flaming bulls that should have been cut. Cool concept, but not necessary. Fun Frank Fact: I've mentioned this movie to Vinny High Life two different times and both times I referred to it as 12 Assassins. I have no idea what that means. PLUS

Funner Frank Fact: When I went to find a picture to add (see above), I typed in, "12 Assassins." WTF? Good thing The Distillery has a CAT scan function.

Hobo with a Shotgun

Another Grindhouse trailer come to life, though in a far less accomplished package than Machete. Maybe it's not fair to compare inexperienced director Jason Eisener to the cinematic whiz Robert Rodriguez, but you have to accept those comparisons when you're treading in the same water. Hobo is fun in a way, particularly if you're into the gore and squirting blood of video game kill shots. It reminded me of the Rock Star game, Manhunt. Or any first-person shooter, really. And Rutger Hauer is always cool in his B-movie legend way. This is a pretty solid homage to those 70s/80s urban wasteland stories where entire cities are overrun by gangsters and punks. Yet there's something missing.

I've already heard talk of this film being a "cult classic," and, well, that's ridiculous. While there are other variables, the basic formula to achieve cult status is Camp + Time. And while "cult" has been overused to the verge of uselessness, "camp" is usually applied even more indiscriminately. Not all bad movies are campy. Almost all of them are just bad. And not all movies that attempt to be campy are actually campy. Almost all of them are just sad. There's a certain earnest charm needed for true camp, a sincere attempt to make a "good" film undermined by a complete lack of ability and/or resources. I think the Hobo makers confused their ultraviolence with campiness. There's no accompanying wit to the onslaught, no offsetting comedic undertone outside the title. Believe it or not, Hauer doesn't even get any cool one-liners even though the entire movie is set up for that. This wasn't not entertaining. It just wasn't as good as it could have been. Or, rather, as worse. MINUS

My 3 favorite Rutger Hauer roles? The Hitcher, Blind Fury, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  

The Green Hornet

Well, that's not what I was expecting. I watched this because it was directed by Michel Gondry and, yes, there are some creative Gondry flourishes, but overall it's your everyday formulaic action comedy. No, what sets this apart is, wait for it...the acting. Seth Rogan is in full Seth Rogan mode ( I mean that in the good way). Korean pop singer Jay Chou, while a bit hard to understand at times as martial artist and engineer extraordinaire Kato, shows good comedic timing and chemistry with Rogan. And then there's the great Christoph Waltz as the Bad Guy. His first scene (with James Franco is, well, watch it). And get this, 30 minutes in, who pops up but Cameron Diaz. I thought the same thing, but she's mostly harmless here. Don't worry.

Not sure why this got such poor reviews. I thought it was a lot of fun. PLUS

THOR

Thor is what you want out of a great superhero film. Great actors, great action, great fun, funny scenes, unexpected heroes, great effects. Any problems would be too much set up for the Avengers...too much secret agent stuff gets in the way of the story between Asgard and Thor's purpose...get the Hammer, get your powers back and kick some Frost Giant ass.

The best surprise has to be the thing I feared the most..I heard that Loki would be the bad guy in Avengers...whatever...whatever?...Heck yes...Tom Hiddleston is the most complex, complete, clear bad guy I can remember...he is a great actor in this film and sets up great for a bad guy from this point on...the Loki character is just amazing...Idris Elba, Anthony Hopkins, and Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, and Chris Hemsworth are all amazing..the effects at certain times looks either like they ran out of money or it was for a 3D effect...I saw 2D...the town they all are in through the film is super small...feels like a set (it is) and reminds me of the town in Superman 2 when Zod and crew burn snakes and flip cars.

Thor is solid...better then Iron Man 2...better then Spiderman 3...better then any Hulk film so far...I just hope Captain America is good (it looks great)...and I don't need to see an Iron Man 3...just go into the Avengers full force...no more Agent Colson...just Nick Fury and the superheroes teaming up and kicking serious ass...I feel it might be a whole film trying to get the superheros together and having infighting....just get together and kick ass...with a great story...is that too much to ask? PLUS

March Preview

Lion or lamb, or zombie sheep? How, oh how, is March going to bring it? Here's what I'm looking forward to...

Sucker Punch (3.25): Potential to be the greatest movie ever. This is either going to peak in the trailer or it's going to be phenomenal. Can't wait to see what Zack Snyder does with Superman.

Paul (3.18): Pegg and Frost together again. No, Edgar Wright behind the camera, though. Still excited, but not as excited as I would be if the titular character were actually Friend of the Blog Paul. When will Hollywood cash in the Big Ticket?

The Adjustment Bureau (3.4): Matt Damon and Emily Blunt in a P.K. Dick adaptation. Been waiting for this since last summer, which is usually a red flag, but the trailer looks pretty good. At least it didn't come out in January.

Should mention:
Take Me Home Tonight (3.4): Another hey let's pretend the 80s were the greatest decade ever comedy, but Hot Tub Time Machine came through early last year, so maybe.

Battle: Los Angeles (3.11): Expect the next week to be nothing but ads for this, but I don't know. Another alien invasion movie? Eh.