Valhalla Rising (2009)

Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn has gotten quite a lot of buzz in recent years. His Pusher trilogy has become something of a cult classic and his 2008 film, Bronson, gave us a star-making turn by Vinny High Life favorite, Tom Hardy. (And, of course, he's behind this fall's breakout hit, Drive, which, despite what you're about to read, I really want to see.) But, Bronson wasn't a great film. In fact, if strapped to the rack and stretched to within an inch of my life, or just asked, I'd have to give it a MINUS. The reason is the same that this film failed me: Refn is a talented filmmaker with a strong artistic eye, but he's just not a very good storyteller. As with Bronson, he gives himself a powerful central character to work with--here, a supernaturally strong one-eyed psychopath who viciously kills his captors only to hook up with a band of Christian warriors heading for the Crusades. That's the whole movie, though. Nothing else happens, or at least nothing else that matters. It's an action movie without any action. That's a line that I feel like I'm writing a lot lately. MINUS

Win Win (2011)

Hey, Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan! That's half a plus already (the line gong down; anyone who starts their plus sign with the horizontal line is a damn sociopath). But, wait, there's more: as in, one of the best films of the year so far. Really, this is the rare nice movie that isn't sappy or preachy. And just when you think it's going to lose its way and throw in a sensational plot twist, it doesn't. Credit goes to director Thomas McCarthy, who is developing into a must-follow filmmaker (The Station Agent, The Visitor). SMC fans will know him as sleazy journalist Scott Templeton from The Wire. I also need to mention Alex Shaffer, who plays the high school wrestler Giamatti and Ryan take in, and his pitch-perfect teen monotone. Oh, and the always welcome sight of Burt Young. Paulie! PLUS

 

Meek's Cutoff (2010)

There's a good story here, but unfortunately director Kelly Reichardt chooses to ignore it. It's 1845 and three pioneer families are lost in the Oregon wilderness. Their guide is proving to be no help and soon simple survival has moved up to the top of the list of priorities. Enter a lone Native American who they capture and force to lead them to water. And then, well, nothing. The film just ends. All the work building up the drama fades to black. Critics love this shit. But if you actually read the reviews, you'll see they're more about the director than about the film itself. Then again, I didn't like Reichardt's 2006 breakthrough, Old Joy, so what do I know. Talk about a movie about nothing. That one was about two friends going camping. That's it. And it wasn't even as if they spent their time engaged in fascinating conversation. They barely spoke. I don't get it sometimes. Meek's is better. It's a beautiful film with its crisp, big sky vistas. And star Michelle Williams is as good as always. But an ultimate letdown. Sigh. MINUS

Everything Must Go (2011)

You know you're in for it when you reject a movie's premise before your ass warms th couch cushion. Here's what we get: everyone's former favorite funnyman, Will Ferrell, gets canned from his job (by Always Sunny's Glenn Howerton!), then goes home to find all of his possessions on his front lawn and a note from his wife (who we never see) saying she's gone. So, the whole world's against this schlub--right up my alley, right? Then this happens: he decides to just live on his front lawn. He does not choose to try to get into his locked house. He also fails to live in his backyard. The cops tell him he can't live on his front lawn (though not, surprisingly, that he's a moron), so he pretends to have a yard sale, becomes friends with some fat kid, and creeps out poor Rebecca Hall across the street. There's more, but it all seems contrived just to keep him on the front lawn...where he never had to be from the start. And then, I don't know, figures it all out at the end. He's also a degenerate alcoholic and generally unlikeable and I really couldn't care what happened to him by the end. MINUS

Playlist

Animal Kingdom (2010): While I didn't love this as much as our own Vinny High Life, I still liked it a lot. It reminded me of the indie small time crime stories that came out in the post-Tarantino 90s. Something like the unjustly forgotten Palookaville. And another example of how good acting can carry a film as much as any of the action. Side note: Not sure why my DVD case said, "An Australian answer to Goodfellas." Either The New York Times critic Stephen Holden has never seen Goodfellas or Australia didn't understand the question. PLUS

The Beaver (2010): I admit, I thought this was a joke when I first heard about it. I mean, Mel Gibson and a talking beaver puppet, how can this be an actual film? Or better, why? And Jodie Foster's directing? Really, it sounded more like a Funny or Die short. Well, they made it and...wait for the twist...it's good. The most surprising thing is how not absurd and over-the-top it is. Gibson's character suffers from severe depression and the only way he is able to relate to the world is through the use of the puppet. It's a sad, touching story, and a pretty realistic take on the disease. It's also one of the few types of roles I would have been able to watch Gibson play these days without being distracted by his real life plummet into bigoted insanity. And, hey, a pre-Winter's Bone Jennifer Lawrence is in it, too (this was made in 2009, but couldn't find a distributor). Something I didn't like, though, and a long time cinematic pet peeve: there's a scene where Gibson goes on a morning TV show and, as luck would have it, all the other major characters happen to be watching the same show at the same time in different locations. That then leads to an unnecessary and unrealistic rise to international fame for Gibson. Jodie should know better. PLUS

Police, Adjective (2009): I'm all over the map like the SMC version of Carmen Sandiego. Next stop, Romania. Have you heard about the Romanian New Wave? No? It's a pretty big deal in the head up their ass world of film critics. Here we have a film that, believe it or not, is accurately described by its vague title. It's about a cop following a teenager who he believes is selling hash or knows who is. So, he follows him. Literally. There's one 20 minute sequence where the cop walks behind him and then waits outside his house. Let me tell you, 20 minutes of nothing is a long time. That's it, by the way. He follows the kid and is told to bust him for smoking. He doesn't want to and his boss has him read the dictionary definition of "police" and some other words. That's the climax. Reading from the dictionary. There are other scenes of him eating and listening to a song and smoking, there's a lot of smoking. Also, Romania looks like one depressing hole. I'm surprised the cop didn't walk around with a beaver on his hand. MINUS