Extract

There are movies and then there are auteur movies, the films where you refer to the director rather than the title. "Wanna go see the new Tarantino film?" "Is that an early Coen Brothers movie?" Make no mistake--this isn't just an arty pretension. It's admiration and respect for creative minds in an industry where the mainstream is more like a raging river.

Mike Judge is an auteur. No, he's not Kurosawa, but he has a distinct comedic style that he's crafted from the brilliantly subtle subversion of Beavis and Butt-Head to the animated authenticity of early King of the Hill, and culminating with the legendary Office Space. Extract works (hell, even Affleck is funny), but what stood out to me is one of the underlying reasons why. Because this is a Mike Judge movie, we get to see Mike Judge's vision of what this movie should look like. Specifically, what the characters should look like. We get the cinematic equivalent of comfort food: time-tested, go-to character actors who let you know up front that you're in good hands and allow you to sit back and absorb the story. (Just to name a few here--J.K. Simmons, Clifton Collins Jr., Beth Grant--look them up.) It's something viewers should appreciate. PLUS

Playlist: District 9

Not much to add here--it was as good as I had heard. An aliens among us film with an original vision. So, considering that whole "original" strike against it, how did director Neill Blomkamp even get it made? Peter Jackson cashed in some of his LotR chips and took a shot on a talented young filmmaker. And then it got an Oscar nod. Sure, there were 10 nominees this year, but still...

Now, what I would like to mention is something that kept popping into my head whenever the main character (played by Sharlto Copley , the new A-Team's Murdock, though give the guy a break for that), spoke: Summer Heights High. Huh? The little known and hysterical Aussie series that had a run on HBO a few years back. One of creator and star Chris Lilley's alter egos was a troubled Tongan teen named Jonah. Maybe it's me, but Jonah and Copley's Wikus Van De Merwe sound an awful lot alike. Is it just me?

Playlist: Whip It

I was warned against seeing this. "It's not even good in a bad way," my inside source informed.  So, of course, I saw it and...it's not even good in a bad way. More to the point, it's actually an exceptionally poorly made movie. It's Drew Barrymore's directorial debut and she seems to not have been paying much attention on those movie sets she grew up on (my guess: all the coke). Poor pacing, structure, shot choices--truth be told, that's quite an accomplished failure. Seriously, it's a dull, de-clawed roller derby movie and that's tough to pull off. She does succeed in one thing, though, and for this we should all be grateful: she gives Jimmy Fallon a showcase for his criminal unfunniness. Really, put him in prison.

But wait, get this--you know how there's always some hack reviewer who will swoon over the fragrance of any piece of crap? I'm not sure there's a contest, but I'm pretty certain we have a winner. Right there on the front of the DVD is this ode to ridiculousness: "A Work of Pure Genius."

It's not that someone likes this movie--I like plenty of movies that others (idiots) don't. It's that someone is so deficient as to, not only make this claim, but make it in the guise of a professional. I know, it's just standard hyperbole and studio/star brown-nosing=page hits, and page hits=pseudo-fame, but there has to be some measure of personal responsibility. Just a little. Like an Ellen Page-sized smidgen.  Listen, if you want to be another Industry geisha, fine, just don't pretend you're not. Because that ain't cool.

Playlist: Taking Woodstock

There's a lot to be said for lowered expectations. I remember thinking that Taking Woodstock looked amusing enough when I first saw the trailer, but then it came and went from the theater, drifting off into the great pop ether. So when I finally did see it, I was pleasantly surprised by how...amusing it turned out to be. (Anytime you don't feel as if you wasted 2 hours of your life has to be considered a win, right? Give me something here, I mean, c'mon.)

It's the backstory of how the iconic 1969 concert took over a sleepy upstate New York town not named Woodstock. It is literally 2 hours, which is a little too long for the story (a current Hollywood affliction). But the casting is dead-on, particularly star Demetri Martin, a stand-up comedian who manages to convey an impressive range of emotions within his trademark deadpan delivery. Even Liev Schreiber, who I don't normally like for no discernible reason, pulls out a win here.

But beyond all that, this was directed by Ang Lee, emperor of the sweeping arthouse epic. It's one of those cases where you can't help but notice how well a film looks--shot selection and arrangement, visual choices, etc. I'm curious to see how Lee fares in The Distillery because I've been a fan for awhile, including the underrated Ride with the Devil. Yes, the one with Jewel and Skeet Ulrich. And, no, I don't know what Hulk movie you're talking about.

Playlist: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Milk Bath
Banana Eating Nazis
Nightman
Dayman
Masturbating Bums

These things all have one thing in common. The best new (to me) sitcom in years. Not since the American Office started have I watched a new show that I really care about...and I missed the first 4 seasons..how?...how did I miss this gloriously ridiculous show..I have recently watched all the seasons for the first time (just have season 4 to go..and I saw most of those during discovering it during season 5)...right now they (The Gang) are filming season 6...this will air in September most likely and I will be waiting. If you don't like this show I don't want to be your friend...I am that sure of myself and the people I want to be associated with.

This got me thinking about show taste...what shows make you a good friend...I could talk Seinfeld with about 75% of the public..but if my bosses knew how much I liked Always Sunny...I may not be able to continue my tenure at my current job.

What other shows must you like to be my friend?...well here is a list:

• Get a Life
• Twin Peaks
• Its Always Sunny
• The Wire
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• East Bound and Down

 and to satisfy most of the public I think you must appreciate:

• The Office
• Quantum Leap
• The original V
• All In the Family
• Mad Men
• The Sopranos
• Seinfeld

I don't think this is asking too much. I don't like most TV...I just can't put much time into all that's out there...so when I fall in love with Sweet D's retarded hip hop boyfriend, Charlie's unrequited love for the waitress, Dennis' odd pedophilic/homophobic/sadomasochistic tendencies and Mac's super agro hostility...you either take me with it all or leave me alone.

Synopsis: watch this show

Single Malt Cinema: Episode 0

In the kickoff installment of our podcast series, our dashing hosts use the Spanish film Timecrimes as a launching pad for a conversation about time travel and all its fantastically opaque implications. They may have also had a couple of drinks.




Download the full file here to fill your head with our voices on the go.

Playlist: Whiteout

This 2009 film adaptation of Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber's acclaimed comic series starring Kate Beckinsale as a U.S. Marshall hunting a killer in Antarctica had early geek buzz, then sat on the shelf for 2 years. But Kate Beckinsale in the snow doesn't get old, right?

Eh...what we got is really just a run-of-the-mill thriller in an exotic locale, complete with the requisite killer-reveal twist. Director Dominic Sena, whose greatest artistic achievement remains conning Halle Berry to go topless in Swordfish, fails to understand that his thriller's most captivating character is Antarctica itself, in all its haunting isolation. Maybe he should have rented The Thing.

Not to ride Sena too much (really, bravo on the Berry coup), but here's how he introduces his setting:

Antarctica The Coldest, Most Isolated Land Mass on the Planet

Yes, it's only 10 words on the screen for a few seconds, but I couldn't help but feel a little insulted. Oh, that Antarctica? Wait, what's all that white stuff on the ground?* It's in bits like this that slip through that we truly get to see how dumb The Machine thinks we are (Note: seeing this film shouldn't be used in our rebuttal.)

*Snow.

Contact Greatness

Arial font is the closest we will get to Helvetica...this post is in Arial font...I chose it because it is closest to Helvetica...Microsoft has not gotten the rights to Helvetica and therefore we now have Arial in its place...the glory that is the perfect font, Helvetica has been emasculated by a God, greatness is hard to define, but I find great beauty and wonder in fonts, I use them to express a feeling and when I see Helvetica I see freedom and universality, not so much creativity, and then when I see Arial...I see an anti-god, I see an imposter, a false prophet, so easily it is to spot sometimes...as it is with actors..how easily were we all fooled by the likes of Ben Affleck, or by Jim Carrey...these were promised to be great (by some) and then got paid and screwed all of us...I actually thought Matt Damon was the jerk until Ben showed his true colors (but that's for another post)...

When you see greatness and then attempt to come close to it, it is a scary thing...take for instance this blogspot...I just found out I have an account on it...it was for one reason, to contact greatness about 4 or 5 years ago. I opened this account when I found out that Darren Aronofsky was abandoning MySpace (I got a myspace account just to see his page)...and the great Director turned to blog spot...he updated us on The Fountain as it was released and then on the "new project"...The Wrestler...then as time faded no more updates...I opened an account for the chance to see the posts and by chance contact him...I even was one of the first to get on blogspot and open an account and post a thanks to him for his great films, this of course was a sad and desperate attempt to be heard by an icon of mine...there have been other attempts...I posted a blog thanks and shout out to the great Frank Vincent on his personal web site...(no reply)...and then the one moment that a celebrity actually emailed me back was the great Vincent Gallo..I wanted to know a bunch of crap...he probably saw right through me...but he emailed me anyway about 3 years ago..to let me know what I wanted...did he shoot The Brown Bunny in order as the film progresses its road journey from New Hampsire to California?...and what roads did he take?...as if I will someday take the vacation of a life time and recreate the road experience of Vincent Gallo on his journey...(email me if you want to come with...and I can give you his reply personally and we can hit the road...dead bugs and all...but I promise no blow jobs in dingy white and brown motels once we get to California)...

Anyway..the dream is that of Icarus..to fly too close to greatness is to get burned...too bad I am mostly like Sysiphus...I fail but keep trying.

Playlist: Big Fan & Staten Island

Move over, Bollywood (or at least Williamsburg) there's a new hipster mecca: a little island named Staten (or Staaten Eylandt for our Dutch readers). It's the rise of Shaolin Cinema. Two recent indie films were not only filmed on the borough, but actually take place there. Really. While Big Fan and, yes, Staten Island, aren't necessarily Hard Eight or Reservoir Dogs, they're what we in the business like to call "a start". And while it pains me to admit there are similarities to the over-filmed Brooklyn--and godforgiveme, the Jersey Shore--the Island has a wealth of cultural nuances all its own. The psychic underpinnings of being the "forgotten borough" alone would make a showcase historical drama. So it goes.

As for the films we do have, my biggest gripe about James DeMonaco's wittier than expected Staten Island is that there isn't enough Staten Island. When you make such an overt point of establishing a setting, you have to make that place a character in itself. Yes, it's not New Orleans or Paris, but cinematically speaking, it is an exotic locale that should be used to the director's advantage. (For more on this movie and Italian-Americans, check out what my fellow Malter, Vin, has to say.)

Big Fan does a better job of utilizing the Island, in particular a certain mindset that is instantly familiar to anyone who grew up there. It's a small movie, but it comes across as real, a subtle character study that reminded me in tone of The Wrestler which makes sense since it was written by the same guy, Robert D. Siegel (making his directoral debut here). Free fact: Siegel is also the former editor-in-chief of The Onion.
Know what's an incredibly underrated movie? A Bronx Tale. Directed by? Robert DeNiro. Now I'm not asking for or expecting an SI DeNiro or Scorcese. But, how about A Staten Island Tale?

Vincent & Vincent Vs. Robert & Al

Or...D'Onofrio and Gallo vs De Niro

I have had it with Italian American actors. Pacino and DeNiro were great in the 70's into the 80's and then into the 90's...but recently are they even on our radar? I mean we put them on a pedestal and they rose to the occassion...but think how many times they let us down (Meet the Fockers, the Godsend, Showtime, Rocky and Bulwinkle, Revolution, 88 Minutes, Righteous Kill, Simone)...I mean its been dredful for Italian American Icons lately. So I now put my money not on the first tier or even the second tier Italian American actor...I put all my eggs into the 3rd tier...and its better...its safer...

It feels right to watch a film with Vincent D'Onofrio...sure he can be bombastic, and sometimes funny and sometimes scary and sometimes over the top...man, but you watch him...and are those not the same things we watch DeNiro for (ie, Taxi Driver, and Casino, and King of Comedy)...I mean the line "Great Ass" is heard over and over again in my head when I think of Pacino...or Pacino yelling at Philip Seymour Hofman in Scent of a women...man they were great...YES WERE great in caps. I just feel more of a connection to Vincent Gallo's depressive, self loathing in Brown Bunny, Hide and Seek and Buffalo 66, then I do to DeNiro's bullshit in those focking Anylze this bullshit. Its time for the new old wave (D'Onofrio and Gallo are like close to 50 years old at the time of this writting so we dont have long with them)...deep down you know I an right...deep down you love Gomer Pyle, and you love how cool D'Onofrio looked in The Cell and Men in Black...deep down you now as you watch the 10 seconds of background screen time that Gallo has in Goodfellas...you know he could have been big...he could have been huge but Pacino and Deniro kept both of these guys back in the Italian American Minor Leage Double A ball for actors...who I say do we have?...who can fill the void of new young Italian American actors?..."The Situation"?...man its bleak out there...keep looking boys and girls...keep searching for the next wave...dont forget people like D'Onofrio (whose acting in Staten Island tears apart anything DeNiro and Pacino have done collectively in 10 years)...don't forget Vincent Gallo...these are the backbone of Italian American cinema.

Playlist: Paper Heart & Bruno

I'm not sure what to make of Paper Heart? It's a movie about the making of a documentary that doesn't really try very hard on either account. Charlyne Yi is a--what? comedian? performance artist? I still have no idea--woman who goes around interviewing people, including a lot of Hollywood hipster friends, about the subject of love. Unfortunately, she's not a good interviewer and doesn't seem to fully understand what she's even hoping to accomplish (not about finding the answer, that's the point, I get it, but about how to go about finding the answer--she has no POV, which is fancy talk for "personality). And that's just it: the fate of this film rests entirely on the audience finding Yi a loveably charming goofball. That she's whiney and dull does not make that a winning bet. At some point she falls for actor Michael Cera and they fall in love...or not, I honestly don't know. But I do know they dated for a few years in real life, which just further takes the point of this thing and drops it off a cliff. As for the filmmakers' bloated claim that they created a "hybrid documentary," I won't tell anyone that only means they couldn't write a whole script. Sssh...

Then we have Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen's straight (so to speak) fake documentary about the quest for fame of a--politely phrased by Wikipedia--"flamboyant gay Austrian fashion journalist". I had reservations going in because 1. the Bruno segments were always the weakest parts of Cohen's "Da Ali G Show", and 2. it just looked like a gay Borat. Which it was, but who cares because it was funny. Cohen is an immensly talented performer who understands the most important rule of comedy: committment. If you're going in, go all in. Comedy is about the uncomfortableness of the truth and you can't be honest if you're scared. And even if some of the more over-the-top moments knock hard on the documentary wall, you accept that it's still a film about Bruno. Not Cohen. You're invested in the character, like him or hate him. So, it's not a fake documentary at all. It's a real documentary about a fake character. And there is a difference.

Quick endnote: Cohen's 2002 film about his signature creation, Ali G Indahouse, is an unfortunately underappreciated comedic showcase. If Borat and Bruno are raging caricatures, than Ali G is maybe the most ridiculous character ever brought to screen. There's nothing about him that connects to real life, but everything about him is real. That's mad skillz, yo. Booyakasha.

Where's My Fucking Puffy Chair

I hate pretension/ I hate grammar/I hate when some schmuck gets to do what I want to do. I don't even know how to do it, but if I could get in a time machine I would go to the moment when a great thing occurred and be a part of that thing...I don't want to be the leader, or even the lead actor...I just want to be a part of it...that would mean that I would lose my family and not have a life I have now...but that's for another blog.

About time continuums--I want to talk about those films that occur...they start a legacy, they start a trend...they were small independent goofs, that the hopes and prayers of the creators had, and then at some point came success. These films are not pretentious, these films are jewels that I treasure and wish to have "been there" at there respective creation. Recently I had a chance to watch another of these films. They are rare and they are special...the 1st time writer director stamp is on them like a scarlet letter daring you to criticize it. Most bloggers and critics do...they put the "flawed masterpiece" logo on these, also the 1st timer logo, etc.

Ok so what film..the first is by brother creator the Duplass Boys..I came across Mark Duplass in a FX show called The League...a show about fantasy football friends...it started ok...but as the shows increased I learned to love these guys and this brand of humor...it grew on me...maybe I give credence to that show for me liking Mark Duplass and his ease in humor...its a natural humor...not forced just there...just like real life...that comes across in the Puffy Chair...a romantic road story about 2 brothers, one of which has a girlfriend and they get this chair to there dad as a birthday...it is uncomfortably funny, and refreshing...I could see it cost nothing to make and yes..."I could make that" syndrome comes in...well actually I would have just like to have been there to help and been ultimate friends with these guys...come on if I showed up and just said "hey guys you need any help with this film"..they had to say yes...right?..its a good flick
Other films that fit the criteria

1. 1st time film makers
2. A low low budget
3. I want to be friends with them
4. Iconic filmmaker now
5. Again, I believe they would have needed my help at the time of filming and I would now live a life of luxury as one of their "Entourage"

Here are the films in no real order and who I would want as my best friend:

1. Pi : Aronofsky
2. Clerks : K Smith
3. Bottle Rocket : Wes Anderson or Luke Wilson
4. The Puffy Chair: Mark Duplass
5. Hard Eight: PT Anderson
6. Cube: Vincenzo Natali
7. Primer: Shane Caruth (ok no icon but a crazy flick)
8. Any others...none come to mind...good list I think

Source Material: Quarantine vs. [Rec]

How's this? Quickie American remake of a cult fave foreign film that is not only faithful to the original, but ultimately better? I know, how very un-American, or at least, un-Hollywood. OK, plot: reporter follows firefighters on a call to an apartment building where they become trapped when the building gets quarantined. Why? There's a bad case of the cannibal crazies going around. The title of Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza's 2007 original, [Rec], comes from the fact that the entire story is told through the eye of a [rec]ording video camera. A bit jarring at times, but nowhere near the cinematic migraine known as Cloverfield, and used effectively as a plot device, most notably at the end.

As I said, John Erick Dowdle's 2008 Quarantine is nearly shot-for-shot loyal, which was the way to go because he already had the fool-proof people-trapped premise in play. (And he'll see our apartment building and raise us one elevator--see: next film, Devil.) Now, here's where I callback to the beginning of the paragraph. Nearly loyal.

Before I get to that, a note on the lead casting. Dowdle went with Jennifer Carpenter, best known as Dexter's sister (and his wife in real life...which I suppose is less creepy than if it were the other way around). I know, that's what I thought, too, but she's not annoying here, and truthfully, comes off strong. That said, Manuela Velasco was a revelation to me in the original. Just a captivating screen presence.

SPOILER ALERT. Alerted? Good. Now sit down for this. The American version has a smarter, less over-the-top ending. Their explanation? A new strain of rabies. Plausible, right? The Spanish take: Satanism. Really. The reveal isn't until the end, but it made me roll my eyes right out of the narrative. I don't know, Satan worship feels so 1983.

Worse yet, they actually made a sequel to the original--yes [Rec] 2--that sounds retardado absolutamente. But Manuela's back, so...

Both: PLUS

Moon

(The following post is bloated with spoilers. You've been warned.)

Is it a spoiler when most people know that Moon has, like, one actor?...True, there is video feed of other actors who are supposedly in the film...but you must know that the lead character played by Sam Rockwell plays multiple roles...I love twist endings...but what about a twist middle? Moon has that...you get the twist in the middle and then the film dares you to watch and see how this new information is dealt with...imagine if you knew that Bruce Willis was dead about 35 minutes into The Sixth Sense. Would it hold your attention?...Probably not the same...because Shyamalan had no true end to that story except for that one realization that Bruce Willis was dead.

In Moon, director Duncan Jones gives you the twist, then shows you the product of this twist...you have to accept the twist and see the consequences...The ending was satisfactory but the consequences to that Middle twist at one point made me well up in tears. I thought of other movies with twist middles...there just ain't very many of them that are good or come to mind. What if you knew that the chick from the Crying Game was a guy in the middle of the film?...Would Stephen Rhea's character then go out on more dates and court the guy/gal? Twist endings are easy...they have an ending that is easy to digest...you shock the audience and there is a satisfactory feeling in "aha I see where this is going"...feeling...I like twist endings but they have become too easy...its a cop out now a days...Give me the twist middle...show me something that I never saw coming and then let me stew in it for a while and allow the director to punish me for the next 45 minutes and deal with the consequences of the film...that's why I loved Moon and that's why Duncan Jones should be a Director that we pay attention too. PLUS

City of God

The end of any period of time brings with it lists reviewing, ranking, commemorating the opinions of whomever is making the list. Sometimes these people actually know what they are talking about and like to refer to themselves as "critics" or "people with jobs as professional writers." Truth be told, I'm grateful they exist because there's just so much stuff out there.

For example, reading Paste Magazine's Best of the Decade list I was surprised to discover that I had not seen their #1 pick: Fernando Meirelles' 2002 Brazilian film, City of God (or Cidade de Deus, for you elitists). I'd heard of it, of course, had picked up on the buzz from time to time since its release, but like I said, there's a lot of stuff to see. So, I saw it. And it was good.

The titular locale is the hardcorest of the hardcore Rio slums and the story--which is based on real events--is about the devastating drug trade of the 70s and 80s. There are obvious parallels to John Singleton's Boyz n the Hood, but it's all in the timing, I suppose, because what struck me more were the similarities to The Wire, the amazing HBO series that I am 4 episodes from completing as of this writing. Both feature kiddie criminals--City of God's Runts and The Wire's Baltimore corner boys--as the backbone of all-encompassing drug empires. Yeah, I get that one takes place decades ago in a third-world country and the other is in a modern-day major American City. They don't call it Bodymore, Murdaland for nothing. PLUS