Distillery: Brett Ratner

Film	Year	Vin	Frank
Money Talks	1997	x	-
Rush Hour	1998	-	-
The Family Man	2000	+	x
Rush Hour 2	2001	-	-
Red Dragon	2002	-	x
After the Sunset	2004	x	x
X-Men: The Last Stand	2006	-	-
Rush Hour 3	2007	x	x
FINAL DISTILLATION		13%	0%

Key: + = Film Liked; - = Film Not Liked; x = Film Not Seen

Distillery: Michael Bay

Film	Year	Vin	Frank
Bad Boys	1995	-	-
The Rock	1996	+	+
Armageddon	1998	-	-
Pearl Harbor	2001	-	x
Bad Boys II	2003	x	x
The Island	2005	+	x
Transformers	2007	-	x
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen	2009	-	x
FINAL DISTILLATION		25%	13%

Key: + = Film Liked; - = Film Not Liked; x = Film Not Seen

Podcast Monday

It's cruel, isn't it? We get you hooked on our intoxicating voices and then make you wait for more. But think of it this way: we could probably charge you an arm and a leg (literally--don't ask) and you'd pay it and ask if we wanted more. But all we want, all we ever wanted, was for you to be our friend. So, plug in, pal, and enjoy.

This installment of the 'cast found The Distillery feeling a little blue. Vinny Guns and I didn't even try to wrap our puny human brains around the situation, but we knew we had to do something. We were running out of interns to sacrifice assign to the problem. Finally, we thought that some things may just be universal and while we couldn't cure what was bothering Big D, we could help ease its grief with a little comfort junk food.

So we crammed its gullet with the movies of Michael Bay and Brett Ratner and lo and behold I think The Distillery smiled a little (it was actually gas and we had to clear the studios for a week before it was safe to return without a mask).

Playlist: Dead Set

Sometimes it's best to stick with the basics. Charlie Brooker did just that with his 5-part British TV series about a night of the living dead. That's right, zombies, but the hook here is that the action is centered around an episode of Big Brother, which is stupidly popular across the pond (see they're not better than us. They just sound as if they are).

Zombigeddon quickly and unexpectedly sweeps across the country, and probably the world, leaving the isolated BB contestants uninfected in their TV set stronghold. It actually looks a lot like another Brit end of times story, Survivors, but, you know, with reanimated cannibalistic corpses roaming the land. It also has a strong connection to that touchstone of all things zombie, Romero's Dawn of the Dead, not just in the underlying commentary about the shallowness of society, but in the simpler, claustrophobic setting. When in doubt, giving your characters nowhere to run always works in horror.And that tact is particularly effective in traditional zombie stories where the terror from the slow moving killers comes from their overwhelming numbers. You can outrun the shuffling dead, but you can't run through them.

Yet Dead Set's dead set are new school sprinters, essentially negating that logic, so why is it getting a pass? Calm down, I'll tell you. Brooker has said that he only made his zombies fast-moving because he needed the outbreak to spread quickly so the BB contestants wouldn't have time to know what was coming. While I don't think compromising to fill in a plot hole is good practice, it works here because he remains true to the other tenants of Zombiedom.

This is good stuff and the final half hour is some of the best zombie action I've ever seen.

Playlist: Cropsey

Jasper Cropsey was a 19th century Staten Island resident who became well known for his Hudson Valley School paintings. The name Cropsey also is a name of an avenue in Brooklyn, New York that I lived near for years. Apparently, it is also the Name of a New York urban legend that says a crazed man who has a hook or knife for a hand kidnaps little children and kills them in the woods in many New England and Mid-Atlantic states. This documentary is about the Cropsey legend that apparently the directors of this film were aware of as they grew up in Staten Island. The director and producer are about my age and I have never heard of this legend...maybe other Staten Islanders can let us know if they have heard of this legend.

The doc goes on to tell of the link between the Cropsey legend, The Willowbrook State School for mentally handicapped kids, the Geraldo Rivera expose in 1972 that exposed the Willowbrook atrocities, the Greenbelt forest, the disappearance of many missing kids in Staten Island including the Jennifer Sweigart case (which I do remember from 1987), and a man who many believe to be Cropsey, but they never come out and say it. The doc is very loose and vague at times...it made me interested again in my old hometown, it also reminded me why I wanted out of there...the garbage, the dumps, the bad accents...etc.

The directors show the old Willowbrook (where I used to play soccer all the time and had field day once)...and to think, the doc exposes the fact that dead kid bodies were found throughout, including Jennifer Sweigart. Let us know if you have heard of Cropsey.

Poll Results

In what can only be described as a shocker (due to deadline, not vocabulary, constraints...parentheticals, as you know, are outside the space-time continuum) Kate Winslet is the People's Choice to be the first actor, excuse me, actress to be Distilled. Not only is this a landmark victory for women everywhere, but it should be quite an interesting discussion considering Vinny Guns has gone on the record numerous times as saying he doesn't like actresses. Eh, oh, don't get me wrong, he likes actresses. He is Vinny Guns, after all. The Italian Stallion. The Big Capicola. The Human Vesuvius.

Then again, maybe this is a misogynistic referendum. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy into The Distillery. That's not true. I hate my worst enemy. That's a stupid expression. Anyway, I have confidence in our gal, Kate. And I am CPR-trained in case mouth-to-mouth is required.

Breaking News

Vinny Guns has informed SMC that he has watched 28 Days Later... and enjoyed it.

Danny Boyle could not be reached for comment, but there's no doubt he will bloody well pleased to move out of the Distillery basement.

Lifetime Movies: 2001

Getting to this year has certainly become an odyssey. Not that it didn't have enough to contend with already. You know, a certain aviation mishap in September. That's the one. And since all of this year's films were either in production or in the can when it all went down, this year is also the end of an era. Everything from here on out has to be viewed through soot-colored glasses.

Movie-wise, there was a lot to like (or at least a lot that I liked). A Beautiful Mind won the Oscar, and while it was good, I would have went with Moulin Rouge which I thought was a more daring, imaginative achievement. I'm not a big fan of traditional musicals, which I think made me enjoy this that much more.

Speaking of creative visions, Amelie gave us a beaucoup serving of charming French quirk, not to mention Audrey Tautou. Not to be outdone, we got two very good films from Mexico--Alfonso Cuaron's Y tu mama tambien and Guillermo Del Toro's The Devil's Backbone--that brought that country to the artistic forefront of the new decade.

Some really good small movies like Donnie Darko and Ghost World; a small movie director getting big in Wes Anderson's The Royal Tennenbaums; and a small movie director getting huge in Steven Soderburgh's incredibly cool and fun Ocean's Eleven.

But if 2001 is remembered for anything (again, movie-wise), it's that it kicked off two hugely successful book adaptations. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (hey, it wasn't called Philosopher's Stone where I saw it) actually lived up to fans' seemingly impossibly high expectations. And it was directed by mainstream what'sanotherwordforhack Chris Columbus no less. The whole series has been a spectacular success, particularly the consistency of look, tone, and quality. Which raises the question of how to handle a finite series such as this on a countdown such as this. It's hard to view each of the installments as a separate movie, so do I honor it here, later when it's more convenient, or at the end (2011)? I really am struggling with this one.

Ok, you got me. While I did like Harry Potter, my real dilemma is with a certain other epic, Peter Jackson's The Fellowship of the Ring. The Lord of the Rings trilogy as a whole is by far the cinematic gold medalist of the decade. But how to judge the individual films? I think one of the things I'm hesitant about is picking LotR for three different years. The truth is there wasn't a bigger or better film in any of the years in question. So, this is just me wanting to mix it up a little and continue my lifelong mission to promote diversity in all walks of life and all human endeavors. We'll give it '01 and then retire its number.

Winner: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

But, wait, what about David Lynch's Mulholland Drive? This may well be the best movie of the year especially since it has topped several critics' Best of the Decade lists. I don't know. I'm sure Vinny Guns will let me know, but I think I need to revisit all of Lynch's films. I remember the film losing its way toward the end, but the first half (which was originally conceived as a TV pilot) was fascinating. Plus, it gave us Naomi Watts. But for now I'm sticking with the hobbits.

Playlist: Lethal Weapon 5

It's been 12 years since the last entry in this film series, the original of which became the template for every buddy cop movie since. Not only have the stars gotten that much older in the past decade plus (Danny Glover is apparently still alive), but Mel Gibson has gone completely train wreck nuts. So the only hope fans had for a sequel at this point rested on some precision recasting of these popular and recognizable characters. Fortunately, that's just what they got.

In an artistic move perhaps not seen since the hey day of Ed Wood, the directors of LW5 decided the best way to fill Danny and Mel's shoes was with four pairs of feet. Not four actors, but two trading roles mid-film. That's right, Detectives Murtaugh and Riggs were given new life by Dennis Reynolds and Mac (who I should also mention co-directed the movie). The result was actually a film within a film. Aside from the explosive action we have come to expect from this series, we were treated to a thespianic clinic. Mac and Reynolds gave us completely different and original takes on the two characters, essentially treating the audience to four unique characters to enjoy. (As for some of the pre-release concern over Mac's choice to don blackface, I can only say an NAACP Image Award for the courageous actor wouldn't surprise me at all.)

All that plus a bravado villain turn by Frank Reynolds (apparently no relation to Dennis). His corrupt Indian tribal leader made me want to put on a badge just to bring him down. But the proof of his acting prowess came in the way this despicable man was able to flip our feelings on their head and seduce us with his five-alarm love scene. I had to take a cold shower before I could even think about writing this post.

What's left to say other than I can't wait for 6.

Distillery: Danny Boyle

Film	Year	Vin	Frank
Shallow Grave	1994	x	+
Trainspotting	1996	+	+
A Life Less Ordinary	1997	x	-
The Beach	2000	x	-
28 Days Later...	2002	+	+
Millions	2004	x	+
Sunshine	2007	+	+
Slumdog Millionaire	2008	+	+
127 Hours	2010	x	x
FINAL DISTILLATION		44%	67%

Key: + = Film Liked; - = Film Not Liked; x = Film Not Seen

Distillery: David Fincher

Film	Year	Vin	Frank
Alien3	1992	-	-
Se7en	1995	+	+
The Game	1997	+	+
Fight Club	1999	+	-
Panic Room	2002	+	+
Zodiac	2007	+	+
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button	2008	+	-
The Social Network	2010	+	+
FINAL DISTILLATION		88%	63%

Key: + = Film Liked; - = Film Not Liked; x = Film Not Seen

Playlist: Quick

Sorry I haven't reported in recently. I saw "Brooklyn's Finest" This weekend...which featured a great opening scene with a great acting duo of Vincent D'Onofrio and Ethan Hawke...remember they were great in "Staten Island"...The film also features other great actors and at least 3 "Wire" folks...I thought it as a real good cop film...Ethan Hawke and Richard Gere were real good

The second flick was " Wreckmeisters Harmonies"...I cant remember why I got this...its an Hungarian film by director Bella Tara...composed of 2 Hours and 19 minutes he only has 39 shots, so the average shot length is like 8 minutes...its a tough film...but very philosophical...and thought provoking about a stuffed Whale, Circus and the problems a "prince" creates in this small town...Wreckmeisters was a musical theorist who surmised that music is controlled chaos made by God...similar to Pi I guess...but very European...I think it was an interview I read by Van Sant, Lynch or Ebert that got me to watch it

Smokin' Cracked

When I was but a wee lad I would accompany me dad to the corner shop on Saturday morns. Well, I went with my dad to the store, but didn't it sound so much more charming the first way? While I'm not sure if "accompany" is the proper verb choice for the imagery, or "morns" the correct colloquial pluralization (I'm quite certain they do celebrate "Saturday" across the pond, though), I can only wonder how different my adulthood would have developed if I had been raised in such an idyllic setting. Would I now be an Exchequer? A Beefeater? David Beckham? A proper gentleman, at the least, and not the...the...American that I turned out to be. Alas, lass.

So, when I was a kid I went with my dad to the store on Saturday mornings. He worked a lot, so this was one of the small windows of time we had together. Naturally, I used this as a chance to get stuff. While he would buy his Italian newspaper and cigarettes (hmm, perhaps I actually did miss a chance to be Europeanized), I would tack on a little something for myself: baseball cards, baseball stickers, or a magazine. Usually, it was a wrestling magazine, and preferably Pro Wrestling Illustrated, which looking back was a pretty terrific read. But sometimes I'd switch gears and go for the funny and of course that meant Mad. How big was Mad? Big enough that there was another magazine that was exactly the same. Well, except for not being as good. And the title: Cracked.

Basically, you bought Cracked if they didn't have Mad. And while it was an inferior product, obvious even to my less than discerning juvenile tastes, it still did the job. That job being to entertain me. Flash forward a few years (or decades if you want to be cruel) and older, more mature me came across an interesting site while mindlessly surfing the Web in what passes for entertainment in this dystopian present. That site: Cracked. And for my money it is one of the best ways to kill time online for free.

How's this for a brilliant, outside-of-the-box game plan: they replaced their terribly outdated general audience pop culture parodies with clever and incredibly well-researched articles that not only make you laugh, but--in all seriousness--make you think. Ok, before I scare you back to Farmville, by articles I mean lists--lists!--that look at fun things like movies and music and ninjas from a different angle. For example, and also as a treat for those of you who hung around while I finally got to the point of this post, they recently ran "The Five Most Wildly Illegal Court Rulings in Movie History." 

I should warn you, or warned you if you already clicked on the above link, that the article might skew your take on some favorite movies. It's hard to un-know something, especially something that hits your hindsight square between the eyes. Keep in mind that these aren't some nit-picky legal technicalities. These are examples of glaring ridiculousness. So, how did we miss them?

Well, that's easy. It's called poetic licence and as much as we like to think we're so smart, we have no problem smudging logic if it, that's right, entertains us. Don't interrupt a good story with killjoy facts. Now, if the movie's crap to begin with, then the filmmaker has waived his immunity. If Independence Day was written as well as, say, Aliens, we would have been too lost in the story to care that Goldblum hacked an intergalactic spaceship with a PowerBook (also covered by Cracked). It wasn't. It sucked. But how do these 5 movies pass the test:

The Untouchables: We all wanted Al Capone to go down and not with the historical accuracy of a tax evasion verdict, but with a bravura to match the monster of DeNiro's performance.

Primal Fear: Even more than a good story, who wants common sense to get in the way of a good twist ending. And this is one of the best. What happened to Ed Norton? Oh, right.

A Time to Kill: I admit, I got caught up in McConaughey's closing argument (or maybe it was his dreamy eyes. Or his gigantic head). It's just cheap emotion, a Joel Schumacher specialty, but it works when it works.

12 Angry Men: Since this is regarded as a classic, you probably just assumed there wouldn't be so many ludicrous plot holes. Thank god for great acting.

Miracle on 34th Street: This is one of those movies I must have seen, but I can't tell if I have or if I just know it from all the references and clips over the years. Explanation for this one? People really like Santa Claus. Ho, ho, boom!

And what about Mad's web presence? See for yourself. They're still clinging to their print edition. Score one for Sylvester P. Smythe.

Mumblecore Wrap Party

 You know that thin line between keeping it real and really pretentious? Apparently, Joe Swanberg decided to cut that line out of the already low budget for his 2009 film, Alexander the Last. It's about an actress and her sister and her husband and the the guy she's doing a play with and, well, I think that's about it. Relationships? I'll let EW's Owen Gleiberman explain: "...an exploration of how the spaces between people can separate them or join them, often at the same moment." That, folks, is a movie critic.

It's pretty clear that for these small films about people just being people, the people will ultimately determine success. The movies that work for me are the ones featuring charismatic leads--Mark Duplass, Greta Gerwig, even non-actress Kate Dollenmayer. Not everyone in real life is interesting. In fact, most people are not, at least not to others. For the viewer to care about mundane subject matter--the whole point here, right--the characters have to be more than that. They have to be interesting. It's like the old line that you would pay to hear Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, etc. read the phone book. No you wouldn't. At least not past Adams. But you do like them, though, and want to spend time with them. The characters in Alexander? I didn't even want to spend the ridiculously short 72 minutes with them. It's more masturbatory artists making films about artists. Forget about the pretentiousness factor. That sounds more like simple laziness.

There are still some mumblecore films on my playlist. I'd like to see Swanberg's Kissing on the Mouth, and not just because it's dirty. His LOL is supposed to be another genre staple. I've also heard good things about Alex Holdridge's In Search of a Midnight Kiss. But of the ones I have watched, here's how I'd stack them:

1. Hump Day
2. The Puffy Chair
3. Cyrus
4. Baghead
5. Hannah Takes the Stairs
6. Funny Ha Ha
7. Beeswax
8. Nights and Weekends
9. Mutual Appreciation
10. Alexander the Great

Question for those who saw it: does Greenberg count?

First Take: The Walking Dead

As expected, Frank Darabont brought his big screen A game with him and delivered a very cinematic opening chapter to this eagerly-awaited new series. As with all series premieres, it was all about set-up: introducing characters, laying out the story, and establishing tone. This hit on all counts all while sticking to the engrossing script of the source material. It does look like they will be straying from Robert Kirkman's comic series in the coming weeks, but since Darabont is on board as executive producer, I think we should have faith in his choice of direction.

The other big question mark with any new show is our first impression of the lead actors. Andrew Lincoln, another one of those covert Brits, looks like he can carry the weight of the hero, Rick Grimes. It's too early to tell about anyone else since this was pretty much Rick's show, but I liked actress Sarah Wayne Callies (Rick's wife Lori) on Prison Break which, if you saw Prison Break, you know says a lot.

And the zombies? Pretty good. Actually, the FX are very impressive so far.

Happy Halloween

Playlist: TAOJJBTCRF

The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford

Continuing my deep deep fascination with Casey Affleck...I watch this film by Andrew Dominik. Dominik has also directed Chopper with Eric Bana. This film was known as the shelved film with Brad Pitt...the film that was too artsy and not enough action. All the action we need here is the great acting by Pitt and my hero Casey Afflleck...so far I have seen many films with Affleck as a quiet, shy, croaking voiced, young man. Affleck seems at times possessed...maybe it's the foreboding knowledge that his character will at one point kill his idol Jesse James...but most is the very subtle acting of Affleck. The direction though can be tough...it's shot beautifully and you have to be in a mood to sit back and relax and have this film "wash" over you...the paranoia is palpable. Great flick...it left me feeling so sad for the characters...but also wanting much more from this Director...can't wait to see what else he has in store...by the way Australian singer songwriter Nick Cave is the composer and makes an appearance in the film...cave also did the score for The Proposition and The Road.

Podcast Monday

Wow, another podcast! Does this mean we're getting a new one every Monday? I mean, wow, that seems like a lot of work, but that's what the title of this post would seem to indicate.

Uh, crap.

Well, what it definitely, no diggity, no doubt about it means is that there is a new podcast this Monday. I know not of the future. Who am I, Patricia Arquette? That's what that show's about, right?

Anyway, it's not only time for another journey into the heart of darkness--not that The Distillery has a heart (at least not its own)--but it's a FAN CHOICE episode. You voted for Danny Boyle to be critically probed and you, yes you, get what you want. So, sit back with your bowl of nuts and finger of single malt and savor the flavor. Of course, I wouldn't recommend the single malt. You might spill your drink.

Source Material: Kick-Ass

The book was better. There, now I can get on with it.

Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.'s original comic series didn't pull punches with its pages of bloody over-the-top violence, yet the story itself was grounded in reality. In fact, "reality" was the whole point. What would happen if a powerless nobody decided to dress up and play superhero? Director Matthew Vaughn started out in that direction, but somehow ended up with a final product that was more of a comic book than the comic book. I understand that the two media require different storytelling techniques and that filmmakers deserve a degree of creative license in interpretation and presentation, but perhaps that license should be more "Driver's" than "Marriage". You know, one that you need to earn or, at the very least, be sober to get.

For whatever reason, Vaughn took Millar's world and populated it with declawed caricatures from movies past. Forget the central casting gangsters and look no further than the rainbow coalition street thugs. Maybe it was an homage to those 80s cheeseballs where gangs didn't have colors so much as they seemingly had quotas and "Beat It" served as the Gangland of its day. It all leads to an air of hokiness. I suppose it could be intended as an ironic juxtaposition to the gore, but I felt it just undermined it.

So if we are allowing for a margin of adaptation (and we should), it is only fair that Vaughn be judged on the changes he made, the biggest of which is his revisionist take on Big Daddy's history. The character, played by Nic Cage, is presented as a Punisher-esque avenging ex-cop who enlists his prepubescent daughter, Hit Girl, in his crusade to take down the criminal empire that took his job, his reputation, and ultimately, his wife. It's a classic genre set-up and one ripe to turn on its head as part of the original story's anti-superhero theme. Unfortunately, as he does in too many places, Vaughn opts to play it safe for the mainstream audience he was hoping for and ignored the book's game-changing revelation that Big Daddy made up his whole back story, that he's basically just a nut bored with his life. Millar has defended Vaughn's decision saying the original turn would have "messed up the structure of the movie." I'm sure he was sincere, but I read that as a back-handed compliment, that the structure of the movie messed up the story. If nothing else, it made it less interesting.

While on the subject of Hollywood edits, the movie also forces a round romance into the square narrative. Both versions introduce the character of Katie (Lyndsy Fonseca, who I'm telling you now to get on your radar) as high school dweeb Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-Ass's, crush an they both show us the relationship that blossoms between them based solely on her mistaken belief that he's gay. Where they diverge is in the aftermath of his admission of truth. In the book, Katie is rightly pissed, telling Dave off and eventually Brett Favreing him a text of her and another guy. The movie, shockingly, has her not even getting mad and immediately becoming his girlfriend and sleeping with him. On choice isn't necessarily better than the other...except when it contradicts the tone of the surrounding material. What type of movie does this want to be?

Another example of this is the casting of Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Red Mist. Sorry to say, but Plasse is and always will be McLovin. That doesn't mean he can never work again (how have they not made a Superbad sequel?), but he brings the baggage of goofiness with him that just isn't right here. not only that, but Vaughn opts out of a dramatic twist again, this one revealing Red Mist's secret identity from the jump. maybe that's the problem here. There's just not enough tension in the film and that short-coming falls squarely on the director's shoulders.

Vaughn made similarly questionable decisions in his last film, Stardust, in which he managed to neuter the magic out of Neil Gaiman's fairy tale (though he did give us Robert DeNiro as a gay sky pirate and, well, never mind). None of which would register that much if his first film, the Daniel Craig star-making Layer Cake, wasn't excellent. He's now been given the reigns of the X-Men franchise and I can't say I know how he's going to respond.

Which isn't to say Kick-Ass is bad (it is to say Stardust is). Like Vinny Guns wrote when he Playlisted the movie a bit back, I wasn't disappointed so much as hoping it would have been better. Where I do disagree with the honorable Mayor is in his love for Cage. I'm happy to see him reconnecting with his eccentric roots after a decade-long sellout bender, but eccentricity isn't always the smart bet (and, actually, usually isn't). When it works, it's very entertaining. When it doesn't, it feels like the actor is trying too hard to draw attention to himself.

If you've noticed that I haven't mentioned Aaron Johnson, who plays the title character, I'd first like to thank for reading this far and then say that I don't have much to write. He's serviceable in the lead, probably interchangeable with a number of other young actors. It's besides the point, though, because like a QB on a team with a great defense and running game, all Johnson has to do is not turn the ball over. This is Hit Girl's film, just like it was her book (she's the Ray Lewis to his Trent Dilfer). Chloe Moretz is dead-on cool as the best original character to hit pop culture in a long time. But wait: Vaughn even manages to screw this up. The first time we see her in the book is when she is impaling a drug dealer. Vaughn, though, introduces her and Big Daddy early on, sacrificing mystery for, I don't know what. Lack of mystery?

You know what, though? She still kicked ass.

Podcast Monday

Season 2 of the Single Malt Cinema Podcast is finally here. Same great taste, but now with half the calories. That's right, loyal and above average looking fans, after some soul searching (but mainly keys to the studio searching) your favorite drive time diversion is back in shorter, easier to swallow form (which was a complaint Vinny Guns has heard his whole life). Ideally, in a theoretically Utopian fantasy world of our dreams, this will enable us to turn these aural gems around quicker and into your ears on a consistent basis. Hopefully.

We're starting with a return to The Distillery (now illegal in 13 states!) and our offering of David Fincher. You may know Fincher from movies he has directed, one of which may or may not be (but definitely is) the box-office smash, The Social Network. Does he survive the career probing serrated tentacles of The Big D? Will he have enough fortitude and insurance to claw his way to the top of the leader board, displacing the grand grape stomper, FFC?

(You may notice a mathematical discrepancy in the tabulation of the final SMC Score. Two things: 1. You're a nerd. 2. It was in no way, shape, or monstrously intimidating form the fault of The Distillery. All blame has squarely been assigned to our former intern whose name shall be withheld while the investigation remains active.)

Playlist Triple Feature

The term "mumblecore" was coined by sound mixer Eric Masunaga, but it was his director, Andrew Bujalski, who brought it to life. Though "life" might not be the best word choice for a filmmaker of such purposefully anti-plot movies. Three, to be exact.

The movie usually credited with launching the movement was Bujalski's 2002 debut, Funny Ha Ha. As if you had to guess, it's the story of recent college grad Marnie trying to find her place in adulthood. The movie drifts along with her, its structure bringing to mind Richard Linklater's 1991 Slacker, itself credited with kicking off the indie boom of the previous decade. While I can't deny Slacker's influence--Kevin Smith has said it directly inspired Clerks--I also can't deny that I didn't like it. Honestly, I really disliked it and it has come to symbolize that pseudo-intellectual pretentiousness that made going into an indie video or record store so painful in the early 90s. There was nothing authentic about Slacker's Austin denizens. Everyone spoke in monologues that sounded like excerpts from some stoner's thesis. The appeal of Funny Ha Ha, and the films that have followed it, is the dedication to un-pretentiousness. Or seeming unpretentious at the least. The problem with that approach, however, should be obvious if you have ever had a conversation with actual people: even the most interesting talks aren't interesting the whole time. If you ever read a transcript of yourself conversing you would probably start a blog just so you could flame yourself. It's why top screenwriters get paid so well. Audiences don't want real dialogue, but dialogue that seems real. That's the real movie magic.

I'll stop here to say I enjoyed the film. Kate Dollenmayer was a very watchable Marnie and while I wouldn't say her life was captivating, she held my attention, at least enough. I can see why critics were so taken by this movie when it was released (and the same goes for Slacker). Movies like these work best when they're unexpected. Timing always skews perspective, so it's not hard to imagine how refreshing a no-frills indie would be after yet another TV show remake or Ashton Kutcher masterpiece.

Dollenmayer wasn't an actress and, despite the potential displayed here, has only appeared in one other film. That would be Bujalski's 2005 Mutual Appreciation. As if Funny's 16mm rawness wasn't mumbly enough, Bujalski took it down another notch by going the black and white route with his story of a trio of 20somethings trying to figure out their lives. Indie musician Justin Rice is the lead and the only time the movie shows a pulse is when he performs on stage. The music's pretty good (Rice's Bishop Allen band mate, Christian Rudder was in Funny). I don't know what else to say about the rest of the film other than it was just dull. A concern facing talk-heavy films is that the talking doesn't just have to be good, it has to be better than that in another movie where it's offset by action. Or plot. Or monkeys. Here, I felt like I was watching the stuff that usually gets edited out of films. "Ums" and "ahs" have only so much charm.

(Bujalski co-starred in both of these films, as well as Joe Swanberg's Hannah Takes the Stairs. He's not a bad actor, but he's not very likable. Like that guy who would make you not go to a party on the off chance you might get stuck talking to him for even 30 seconds. You know who I'm talking about.)

Bujalski's greatest strength as a director is showcased in his most recent film, 2008's Beeswax. It stars identical twin newcomers (or rather, no-comers), Tilly and Maggie Hatcher as the latest non-professional actors whose talent he has been able to max out. He gets that people are naturally multidimensional and everyone is a character in someone's story. But again, that doesn't mean that story is necessarily interesting. I would rank this second of the three, closer to positive than negative. The production value is a tad higher and there's even a sampling of tension in the script. Listen, it's something. I know it's important to keep these in context, but after this triple play I wouldn't mind a car chase. Or five.

Stay Gone Baby Gone!

The Casey Affleck experience keeps rolling. Next I think is The Assassination of Jesse James. Why do I like Casey?...

1. He has grown into a really nuanced actor...very subtle and very convincing

2. He is NOT BEN

3. His voice is perfect...from "BAWSTON"...to "TEXAS"...he is just a throaty, sly, and cunning guy

OK so the best things about this particular film are:

1. Amy Ryan as the "COKE HO"...The Wire and Office's own is here in a brilliant performance as a bad bad MOM

2. Amy Madigan as the above Amy's sister-in law...she steals the show and her acting and accent is perfect.

3. Casey Affleck...See above...great acting and great set up for his character to change over time...but here is also the problem as seen later

4. The first 30-40 minutes...everything up to the point of the introduction of Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris...who I normally like

Things that are bad:

1. What happened to Ben Affleck as director?...did his Balls drop off at the point when the story became about a dirty cop...and not about a missing little girl?...maybe it's the book's fault...but you know, a lot of films have made much better Films then books...it takes a director with balls and a good ear for STORY...to do this...See Stanley Kubrick many many times...you try and read The Shining and A Clockwork Orange and the rest...all better films then books

2. Ed Harris:...normally I love ...see Apollo 13, see Pollack, see A History of Violence...but here?...just another hack...

3. The King of all Hacks...Morgan Freeman...O-Wait...another 3-4 times a film where he makes a great "monologue"...real energy and emotion from his voice...GO BACK TO THE ISLANDS MATE...he is the hack of all hacks and his ACT is threadbare with me...no more lines about dead girls and lines about doing the right thing...blah blah blah

4. After the introduction of the above 2 fools...the story is now about everything else but what the story should be about...we move ahead in time...we forget the girl...we miss and never see Amy M...but we luckily see Amy R...instead I get this bad cop, morally fake never really happen bullshit story that I hated...no one would ever have to make the decision that poor Casey has to suffer...and at the hands of his own brother of all people

5. By the end we don't care about Casey anymore...he made his decision, that we see coming from a mile away...and his decision to be true to some human code gets everyone pissed at him...

6. There are SOOOO many storylines in this that Ben must have said "Fuck the Audience, they won't remember all these plot holes...will they?"...well I did and this story is so not real its unreal...at one point Casey kills a guy execution style...and all the cops are thanking him...WHAT...wouldn't they arrest him...Casey was not defending himself and murdered a man..."no investigation needed here officer...don't you know he is the director's brother?"

7. What country was this filmed in?...because I had to put the subtitles on English to understand what the Fuck they were saying...I mean come on...the accents are SOOO good...or these people actually did not win the American Revolution...cause Boston accents are strong here folks

In all the first part of the flick is awesome...at one point Casey and his terrible actress wife are in a bar...it gets very real and very scary real fast..it was a great scene...and so based on the first scenes I was expecting it to be great throughout...I was wrong.

Playlist: The Foot Fist Way

Vinny Guns told me I had to watch Eastbound & Down. He was right. Not that I had to watch it, I don't think. It's possible (though not literally) that he could have telepathically hijacked me into doing it, but then again, wouldn't he then wipe my mind of any knowledge of his manipulation? That only makes sense, right? No, what I meant was he was right about it being good. Did I not mention that part? It was implied, like this sarcasm.

Then, Vinny Guns then told me I had to watch Danny McBride and Jody Hill's first film, The Foot Fist Way. (Please note: Vinny Guns didn't say please either time.) So, I watched it. And it was good, just not as good. It was funny, just not as funny. What it turned out to be was a test run for Eastbound with McBride's character, Taekwondo instructor Fred Simmons, essentially being Kenny Powers sans sweet ass mullet. If you like McBride, which I do, that's a good thing. Unfortunately, he's undermined by some less than stellar supporting performances, the actress playing his wife being of particular notverygoodness. But, that's what you get in such a small production. (Hill's small role as a slightly off-center fellow martial artist is the best non-McBride thing in the film.)

Actually, FFW is closer in tone to Hill's Observe & Report than Eastbound. Unsurprisingly, Vinny Guns is a big O&R fan as well. Me, less so. But we both agree wholeheartedly that we're fans of Vinny Guns. BOOM!

The Casey Affleck Effect

The directorial debut of Casey Affleck was I'm Still Here...I loved it , so I decided to see some Casey Affleck films as an actor...I heard good things about The Killer Inside Me....so I got it from Netflix...I also have Gone Baby Gone coming and will report on that...

Remember Casey as the younger brother of "you know who", Casey was in Good Will Hunting as the snarky brother...and also in To Die For with Joaquin Phoenix and the unforgettable Oceans films I guess....but know he is coming into his own with a great acting performance alongside Kate Hudson, Ned Beatty, and Jessica Alba in The Killer Inside Me....unfortunately not all old books about Texas and Killers are as great as No Country for Old Men...cause even with a great acting performance and interesting story of how a man becomes a serial killer, this film is a mess...Micheal Winterbottom is a disaster as a director...because the "direction" of this film's plot and musical choices and editing is terrible...it's so bad that at the end of the film there is a key scene with an explosion...the CGI is so bad that most posters on the IMDB boards actually think that that is a "sign" that the end is "just a delusion of a character's mind"...whatever...it's just bad filmmaking

But don't let that fool you. It's worth a rent since Affleck to me is now better then his brother Ben...I still have to see The Assasination of Jesse James and Gone Baby Gone

Trailer Park

Could anything be more anti-trailer park than this movie? The Taqwacores is about the Muslim punk scene and, before you ask, yes, there is a Muslim punk scene. And where else would this movie be based but in Buffalo, NY? At least there won't be any confusion between "Oi, Oi, Oi" and "Oy, Oy, Oy" here. I don't expect this to change to world, but it's one of those little flashes of hope.



Is that really the opposite of a trailer park? Anyway, speaking of people who could have used some genetic engineering, here's a little sci-fi film called Jim. What? I wish my parents had been able to customize me a little better. You know what's funny, though? That people are worried that if we start designing babies we'll have this artificially perfect society. As if all of a sudden the idiots out there are going to make educated decisions. No, what we'll get is the worst of both worlds--moronic genes plus unintelligent design. That's why we need to forget about babies and start focusing on fitting qualified adults with cyborg parts. Or at least me. I have no attachment to humanity whatsoever.



Remember Cloverfield? Me too, that's why I'm excited by Monsters because we could use a good giant monster movie.  It's British and I always like to see a foreign take on Sci-fi. Plus, it's a Magnet Films release, a company I've talked about before.



The Freebie is the directorial debut of the Katie Aselton, aka Mrs. Mark Duplass. They're SMC's Brangelina. I like Katie a lot as an actress (The Puffy Chair, The League) and this has gotten good festival buzz. I'm not a big Dax Shepard fan, though. He looks terrible here, doesn't he? At least Katie doesn't.



Finally, here's a new trailer for an older film you may have heard about called Inception. Then again, maybe it's just a...then again maybe I won't make an obvious dream joke.

Playlist: The House of the Devil

There was a time not too long ago when, after nuclear annihilation, the biggest fear for many Americans was Satanic cults. This was the late 70s/early 80s--okay, that actually is long ago--and every so often Geraldo Rivera or some other goof would make a stink about this unholy danger to our children and, based on the go-to news imagery, our livestock as well. Of course, this only made pentagrams cool and gave horror writers a new vein to tap.

Ti West's 2009 film is a throwback to that era, right down to the 16mm look and the main character's gigantic Walkman. His filmmaking, however, takes us back even further, eschewing the slash and splatter for an earlier less-is-more sensibility. He builds suspense, slowly and deliberately, until you can't help but freaking out right along with the heroine. This isn't about killing time until the next gore scene by piecing together empty scare tactics, but skewering us with anticipation. It's negative fear, that dread lurking outside the empty spaces of the mundane (climbing a flight or stairs, entering a room, etc.).

That heroine mentioned before is college sophomore Samantha who, desperate for rent money so she can move out of her dorm room and away from her roommate, agrees to take a "babysitting" job against her better judgement and her best friend's protestations. Sure, it's an old Gothic mansion and the couple is creepiness personified, but she was getting paid $400 for a few hours work. Even a quarter century later, that's a lot of money. So, she stays and, well, the rest of the movie happens. All of which is not to say that Samantha is your typical horror movie ditz. Jocelin Donahue gives one of the better performances you'll see in a film like this, playing the character as a normal, naive kid. Her dialogue, particularly with her friend, is unforced and believable, which only adds to the atmosphere of the film.

Confession: the reason I watched this in the first place was because of the friend. Yep, it's Greta Gerwig. And, yep, even in a small role in a "traditional" film she brings her natural acting vibe (not to mention some very Farrah hair).

The movie climaxes in a chilling scene of desperation that made me want to turn the lights back on. But then, West tacks on 15 minutes, abandoning his pacing and focus and turning on the blood faucet. It's not really tacked on as the whole movie was leading to this point, but it's too brusque a tone shift. As for the very ending, um, I don't know what he was trying to say (if you want to know what happened, leave a comment and I'll explain). Overall, though, this is a great pick if you're looking for something fresh to watch this Shocktober.

Playlist: Breathless

It's the 50th anniversary of Jean-Luc Godard's Breathless, a film whose cultural and artistic influence has been referenced as canon by critics for decades. Ironically, that may be the very reason why I had never watched it before. There's something off-putting, perhaps even intimidating, about landmark works. What if I don't like it? Or worse, what if I don't "get" it?

Breathless was even more of a challenge because somehow I knew next to nothing about its plot. Did it even have one or was it one of "those" foreign films? I did know it kick-started the French New Wave movement which in turn inspired the greatest directors of our time including Scorsese, Coppola, and Tarantino.

So, I watched it. And it was good. Unfortunately, I can never claim to have experienced the revolutionary spirit viewers did in 1960, but I can understand their reaction. A half century later, it's still fresh and hip, the vitality of 60s Euro cool alive in every shot. For an unexplainable reason that I'm sure the French have a word for, the film just feels important, or better, valuable.

While there is a lot of talking (get this: Godard wrote most of the dialogue the morning of each scene), there is also a solid narrative. A young thug (Jean-Paul Belmondo) is on the run from the cops and goes on the lam in Paris with his seemingly innocent American girlfriend played by Jean Seberg, whose face became the symbol not only of the film, but of la Nouvelle Vague era. This is undeniably her film and there's no way to watch this without falling under her spell.

Seberg's life is even more fascinating. She became an international sensation at 17 when she won an 18,000 girl casting call for Otto Preminger's Joan of Arc biopic. The movie subsequently bombed and critics hit Seberg hard. On top of that, she would later say that she never was able to get over Preminger's psychological abuse on the set. Then Breathless happened and for awhile she was the most sought after actress in the business. But she stopped acting at the peak of her career and turned to various left-wing political groups. Her affiliation with the Black Panthers landed her in the FBI's cross-hairs. A devastating miscarriage, alcohol, prescription drugs, and clinical depression led to Seberg committing suicide at 40. Triste.

Lifetime Movies: 2000

*How do you think we scored such a sweet deal on the SMC bunker?

But when I think back to great movies I have seen--movies that I knew were special as I was watching them--Memento is always one of the first few to come to mind. It revolves around a gimmick, sure, but like The Usual Suspects, the story itself (and the direction and acting) creates something bigger than the novelty. In fact, these films are great despite the distraction of the showy trickery. Memento made me appreciate the power of storytelling and the promise it can hold. (Check out Nolan's first feature, The Following, to see a lot of the ideas at play here in their concept stage.)

And then there were the two underdog indies (combined budget: under $15 million): Christopher Nolan's Memento and Darren Aronofsky's Requiem for a Dream. While Nolan has since become the rare blockbuster auteur, Aronofsky remains the darker visionary, content with exploring humanity from the underbelly up. Requiem is a hard film to watch, but in the best possible way. It's haunting, Aronofsky not only capturing the viewer's attention, but encapsulating it in an almost tangible mood that doesn't go away with the end credits. It's a really impressive accomplishment.

Towering above all were the two sword-wielding heavyweights, Ridley Scott's Best Picture-winning Gladiator and Ang Lee's Best Foreign Film-winning Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I remember getting caught up in the rah-rah power of Gladiator and thinking it had to be one of the best films I ever saw. Everything about it is big, from Russell Crowe's epic hero to Joaquin Phoenix's detestable villain. It was made to overwhelm your emotions and it certainly did, like a Maximus punch right between the eyes. Crouching Tiger had the same effect, but with a less-Hollywood subtlety. The word that always comes to mind when I think of this film is magical, like an art house Matrix fairy tale. It's grander in scale than Gladiator, more ambitious, and probably the bigger achievement.

There was quality across the board, from science fiction (Pitch Black, Frequency) to comedy (High Fidelity, Best in Show), to Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled, to the original X-Men movie. There was Almost Famous, an ode to the power and romance of rock 'n' roll and Cameron Crowe's best film to date. Which, speaking as a fan and someone who has a lot of respect for him as a writer, is saying a lot.

I was expecting a big drop off from '99 what with everyone hunkering down* and stockpiling Spam, but it appears the producers cracked the whip to get their films done before the town began unplugging their AVID machines so they wouldn't go all Y2k and bring down the stock market, but 2000 came out swinging at everyone ready to close the decade a year early.

Autumn TV Update 2: Judgment Day

 Where were we? Right, watching TV.

Sunday

The Simpsons: Sigh. More of the same, and all we can expect at this point. It's impossible to sustain inspiration after this many years. Still solid and better than most shows on TV, but it now simply is what it is. While it was enjoyable hearing Flight of the Conchords' charming Kiwi accents again in the premiere, it felt 3-5 years too late for hipness' sake, a recurring negative trend on the show. Which just makes you wonder how South Park can turn around a hot topic in a week.

Monday

House: Early indications are that they will be able to handle the new House-Cuddy love dynamic. The show has a perfected template and whatever storyline they plug in works as fine as any other. Hugh Laurie carries every episode and that won't change. I still feel this should be the last season, but no one at FOX has returned my calls.

The Event: Oh, it's about aliens. And a government conspiracy. I'm grateful they cleared that up right away so I didn't have to waste anymore time. Two episodes in and I realized my attention was not willing to cooperate. It's not bad, but it's also not Lost. Is that fair? Is that my problem? Anyway, here's another picture of Sarah Roemer.

Hawaii Five-O: Watched the first episode and was entertained. Scott Caan is the money here, finally tapping into his genes lately (see: last season of Entourage). I wasn't so big on the lead, Alex O'Loughlin. Actually, I didn't like him at all. They'll probably soften him up as the series goes on, but right now he comes off as a dull jerk, especially compared to Caan's comic relief. As for James Marsters' role on the show, it looks like a few times a season deal. He was shot and fell into the ocean after being underused in the pilot, but his body wasn't found. He killed O'Loughlin's dad, so he'll be back. And maybe I'll watch it then. Right now, it's a solid cop show, though not one I'll be watching weekly. If it's when you're looking for something to watch, it's definitely worth the hour.

Tuesday

No Ordinary Family: I really don't want to watch that much TV and the only reason I have in the past two weeks is because of you, dear readers. I know and you're welcome. But, I do have an open TV-watching slot after the end of Lost, and it looks like I found a winner. The pilot was a lot of fun and after The Shield, I was willing to watch Michael Chiklis in just about anything. Plus, I like Julie Benz who plays his wife. I am worried about the high concept (regular family gets superpowers) holding up, but if it doesn't, I'll just stop watching. (There's a really good fight scene in the first episode between Chiklis and a de-materializing bad guy--think Nightcrawler--that eased my worries about the potential TV sfx.)

Raising Hope & Running Wilde: Both were still funny enough the second time around to stick in the playlist. And before you ask, I don't count these as new shows to watch. I just like having half hour shows on the DVR as boredom safety valves.

Wednesday

Terriers: Recorded three episodes. Didn't watch any. Had to pull the plug. It's supposed to be pretty good so maybe this is a future DVD watch. 

Thursday

30 Rock: Picked up where it left off as the best comedy on TV. Tracey Morgan is so good on this show.

The Office: I thought the opening "lip dub" was embarrassing. Here's the life cycle of every great comedy: Discovery (when it finds its legs and clicks with the audience); Peak (usually early, season 2 or 3); Plateau (still funny, but getting too comfortable, too easy for the writers to redecorate old material); Fall (going through the motions, usually to get to syndication. This is when shows get gimmicky or begin adding new characters like babies or cute little black kids). If a show lasts longer than this it can no longer be considered great and has damaged its legacy. The Office is falling. I hope it pulls its chute before it goes splat. 

Community: Another DVR time filler. May lose playing time to the two Tuesday sitcoms.

Outsourced: This had a very low ceiling and needs to jump off a stepladder to even hit that. The first episode wasn't painfully bad, it was worse. It was immediately irrelevant. I don't think America is going to watch a sitcom set in India and they're definitely not going to watch a dull one. Everyone's a caricature, but not even in an interesting offensive way. Ok, I shouldn't waste time on this but two things from the pilot: 1. The main character was told he had to move to India to manage his company's relocated call center. He's a young guy with no family. He doesn't want to go, but is told if he doesn't he will lose his job at the novelty company. So...of course he moves all the way to India. Only a retard would do that. 2. One of the Indian women at the call center refuses to speak. She was hired to talk on the phone. Get it? That's just a cheap, lazy gag (and yes, they stole it from Police Academy...in 1984.) Here's the thing: Network Prime Time is like the Major Leagues. Only the best of the best should be there. Crap like this just doesn't have the talent to deserve the shot. Outsourced couldn't carry 30 Rock's jock.

Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I'll say it: it's been a slow start to the season. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm hoping it's not that success has made them complacent, or worse, bored. I'm hoping they haven't plateaued (see, it's catching on). Not panicking yet. 

The League: Has shot right up my list. This is a funny show. Watch it.