SMTV: Preview

Check it: Sarah Michelle Gellar makes her triumphant return to television this fall.

Two things, obviously it's a little early to call it triumphant, especially since I have no idea what's going on in this trailer. And two, the CW is, well, it is a television network. Apparently.

So, there you go.

SMTV: 2010-11 Season Recap

The past nine months have been a war of attrition between me and the TV, a war which I either won or lost depending on how big a loser you think I am. By the time May rolled through, I was barely watching anything, tired of trying to find something to watch and exhausted by what I found. There is quality out there and I thank your god for giving me the fortitude to find it.

Best Comedy: Parks and Recreation
This had two things working in its favor when it first aired: a strong pedigree, and thus, high expectations; and a free-falling network in NBC. These factors combined to give the writers time to work out the kinks and find the right formula for success. At first, this was just a platform for star Amy Poehler to play Amy Poehler. The show revolved almost solely around her character, Leslie Knope, and more accurately, her wacky behavior. This may have worked at skit length on SNL (or not, as is their standard), but it got old before the first commercial break in a sitcom. So, the writers decided to expand the storylines to incorporate the talented supporting cast while at the same time toning down Knope's antics. The key, it turned out, was that while Poehler can play manic as good as anyone, her killer trait is a down-to-earth likeability. Her sweetness makes her fits of hysteria all the more fun to watch. This season, the full time additions of Adam Scott and Rob Lowe have given the show even more depth and made it something to look forward to every week. Bonus: Ron Swanson is the first civil service role model. At least mine.

Best Drama: Justified
The coolest show on TV thanks in large part to the coolest character, Timothy Olyphant's U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens. Olyphant is all charm and swagger and makes it cool to cheer for the good guy again (though one with an itchy trigger finger). Walter Goggins picks up where he left off on The Shield as the guy you love to hate (or in this case, love to hate to love). Highly recommend using the summer to catch up with this.

Around the...well no one has a "dial" anymore, do they? At least no one who would be reading this on the Intertubes. And remotes don't click anymore either, so "clicker" is out, too. Yet another way technology is ruining our lives. Thoughts?

30 Rock: Last year's best comedy is still on top of its game, but has plateaued. It was inevitable. It's usually as funny as it ever was, but it's just not going anywhere new. Expect a decline.

The Office: There's nothing more to say at this point. I think they messed up Michael's farewell episode (particularly his final scene with Pam...though the one with Jim was well done). Will Ferrell was a nice change-up, but his run was necessarily brief. Who'll be the boss next year? I can't believe how little I care. The better question is will I watch out of habit? (Also, Jim Carrey on the final episode? Well played. I know I'm not the most objective critic here, but his accent was pathetically laughable, though I hesitate to use that word as it may be misinterpreted that I actually laughed.)

Raising Hope: The surprise of last fall finished out a solid first season. I stick with my concern that it may fall down off My Name is Earl cliff, but for now I'll enjoy the excellent comedic work of Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt.

The Simpsons: For all the knocks on this show, it can still be pretty funny at times. Unfortunately, those times are about midway through every third episode. I hear next season they are going to have shows about Lisa not wanting to be smart anymore and Marge wanting something more out of her life.

South Park: Like The Simpsons in that it has been on so long that you tend to take it for granted. But unlike that other show, it is still relevant, and maybe more so than anything else on TV. And I still don't understand how they can turn around an episode to address the most recent news and celebrity stupidity so quickly. I think next year The Simpsons have an episode about Janet Jackson's nipple.

Workaholics: Vinny High Life recommended, Frank approved. This is one of those shows where there is no logical reason to like it other than it's funny. Good sign: it has steadily improved throughout the season, the finale of which airs this Wednesday night. Help VHL out. He can't figure out who the Adam character reminds him of. I suggested Jack Black meets Seann William Scott. Leave comment below.

Eagleheart: Did you watch this? You needed to have watched this. The closest anyone has come to recapturing the vibe of Get a Life. If you know me, you know that is the highest praise.

Bob's Burgers: Not much buzz about this show, but I really like it. H. Jon Benjamin (Bob, as well as TBS's Archer) has a voice that just makes me laugh, and outstanding delivery. But the kids seal the deal, especially Kristen Schaal as the wise-ass youngest daughter. The only drawback is the wife is from the Peggy Hill school of show killing. The less of her the better.

Community: An incredible turnaround from where this started last year. While still not consistently laugh aloud funny, it is the most ambitious and creative sitcom on TV, and honestly, one of the most ever. Most ambitious and creative. That wasn't the best sentence.

House: There is nothing left here. I'm giving it one more season and then it has to end one way or another. The season finale seemed desperate, a cheap visual stunt. I thought Amber Tamblyn had a very good run, but it sure is nice to have Olivia Wilde back in the mix.

Lights Out: Biggest disappointment of the season. Started out promising enough, but the storyline was stretched beyond credibility and the supporting cast (or maybe the writing) wasn't up to playing out a whole season. The climactic fight? Anticlimactic. It got canceled, so there you go.

What did I miss?

Carlos

This was at the top of many critics' 2010 lists, but I can't really consider it a "film" in the usual sense of the word. It was originally produced as a mini-series for French TV and I watched all 330 minutes of it as such. In installments, not in France. (The theatrical release was about 200 minutes shorter and, all circulatory and renal benefits aside, must have been a completely different experience.)

I was reminded of the early 80s when American TV actually aired quality movies and mini-series. That feeling was no doubt helped by the subject matter as that time period was rife with tales of hijacked planes and terrorism. While my tastes at the time tended toward the Chuck Norris worldview on homeland security, I remember being fascinated/frightened by the more realistic takes on people like Carlos, or as you may know him, Carlos the Jackel.

If ever there was a celebrity terrorist, this was your guy. Granted, he considered himself a revolutionary in the Che Guevara mold, though minus the lucrative t-shirt side business. He did build himself up into the world's most wanted criminal and Olivier Assayas's biopic covers that rise to infamy. The filmmaking is excellent and Assayas seamlessly weaves together action, politics and historic footage in eight different languages over nine different international locations. Holding it all together is a magnetic, versatile, and brave star turn by Edgar Ramirez. (By brave I mean he shows his dong a lot.) It's one of the best performances in years.

As for Carlos, he never got to be the martyr he seemed destined to be and rots away in prison today as the delusional thug he proved to be. PLUS

Autumn TV Report

As we approach halftime of the now not so new season, let's take a look to see where we stand. Remember that these are the shows I have been watching. I have no idea what Julianna Margulies is up to on The Good Wife nor do I care that you have subjected yourself to watching Bristol Palin dance.

Monday

House: They've handled the House-Cuddy relationship well in that it has been business as usual at Princeton-Plainsboro. The major change has been that All-Star Olivia Wilde has been off filming a movie and they've called up Amber Tamblyn to fill her spot. No offense to Tamblyn, but this isn't exactly a fair swap. That said, her wholesome med school genius is a good foil for House and a better character for the show. What to do when Wilde returns?

Tuesday

No Ordinary Family: Disappointingly, there's been a steady decline from a very entertaining pilot. The problem isn't with the very likable stars (Michael Chiklis, Julie Benz, and Autumn Reeser, who I'd really like to see in her own sitcom next year). The problem is that in the wake of recent darker adult sci-fi shows like Lost and Heroes (which I didn't watch), there is too much of an ABC Family hokiness vibe here. I was all set to end its relationship with my DVR when they pull out an ace: Amy Acker. That's right, one of my favorite actresses (Angel, Dollhouse) in the mix. So what do they do with her? Have her shot in her first episode. Don't worry, she's alive, but I can't say the same for the show. I think there's potential here, but I only have time for kinetic.

Raising Hope: Staying strong after a good debut. Garret Dillahunt, who has made a living playing creepy sociopaths, has been a revelation as a comic actor. Really, he makes me laugh out loud. Martha Plimpton has been great and I have been won over by Shannon Woodward. Just very good casting. (The senile grandma played by Cloris Leachman feels, not offensive, but cheap and unnecessary. I don't see her going away, though...unlike the live-in cousin who was in the pilot. I remember things, TV.) I'm still worried about its shelf-life, but for now the biggest surprise of the season.

Running Wilde: The show isn't that great and Keri Russell's character is a little on the grating side, but Will Arnett plays obliviously arrogant better than anyone and it's very hard not to appreciate that. He's helped by Mel Rodriguez as his butler and Peter Serafinowicz as his equally clueless rich man-child neighbor (the latter played Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's housemate in Shaun of the Dead). Nothing ground-breaking here, but entertaining enough.

Sons of Anarchy: After Mad Men, the show I most look forward to each week. I was nervous about this season being undermined by the kidnapped baby storyline, but it ended up serving as a catalyst to not only up the ante for everyone on the show but permanently change the landscape. 

Wednesday

South Park: I've been proselytizing for the appreciation of this show for years. Unfortunately, I think the initial hype surrounding it led a lot of people to write it off as a fad. However, I don't know another scripted show that covers current events better, especially with the ability to put popular hysteria into perspective. Sometimes they miss, as with this season's take on NASCAR (people who watch it are poor and stupid--get it?) But their misses are still more relevant than most shows (I even got Vinny Guns to watch--and like--the episode about Inception).

Thursday

Community: This is a very ambitious show and deserves credit for that. However, that also leads to each episode being more about style over substance. It feels like the writers are just trying to one-up each other in who can be the most hip and meta. Though the cast is good, there's just no investment in the characters.

30 Rock: The best sitcom on TV right now.

The Office: Slow, awkward start to the season, but they've rallied in recent episodes by falling back on their strength: Steve Carrell's Michael Scott. He's their Homer and I really don't see how they're going to keep this thing afloat when he leaves. Take Jim and Pam instead.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Suffered the same malaise as The Office, which is typical of successful shows that are on the other side of their fifth season. I think that struggling hunger is understandably gone and it takes a few episodes to get back to full steam. And like The Office and Michael, here more Charlie means more funny. Seriously, no more Mac episodes.

The League: This doesn't have the substance of some of the great comedies, but its in-the-moment laugh factor is pretty high. Second best comedy of the season so far.

Friday

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret: This six episode series on IFC starred David Cross as a salesman who fakes his way into getting transferred to England to head the campaign to sell Thunder Muscle energy drink. Cross also plays a recurring character on Running Wilde...and Arnett shows up here as  Todd's chain-cursing boss. It was funny and worth catching on DVD, though I think they got all they could out of the plot and I can't say I'm excited about a rumored second season.

Saturday

Saturday Night Live: No, don't worry, I haven't started watching this. I just thought I should mention that, yes, this is still on and I can't even remember when I did last watch (not consistently, but at all) this one time can't miss show. I can't see it turning around as long as Lorne Michaels is still calling the shots. They desperately need a new voice behind the scenes and a fresher perspective on current sketch comedy talent.

Sunday

The Simpsons: The recycling of material is getting more and more noticeable, but what do you expect at this point. If you've watched it this far you're in it for the long haul. However long that haul may be.

Luther: I had moderately high hopes for this BBC detective show starring The Wire's Idris Elba. I watched one episode and was done. It may have gotten better, but I didn't like Elba's character (you know, the guy from the title). And there was a lot of choppy (sorry, cutting-edge) editing that was, well, annoying. Probably for the best. Who needs more TV to watch?

Mad Men: I thought this may have been the best season yet. A brilliant character arc for Don Draper within the overall arc that is the show as a whole. And excellent casting, as usual, for his love interests: Cara Buono (she was Artie's girlfriend in Beer League? Really?) and Jessica Pare. I admit, I was Team Faye, but Megan ain't a bad Option B. 

The Walking Dead: An excellent adaptation of Robert Kirkman's comic series that even zombiephobe Vinny Guns is digging. Ok, so here's a gripe: having read the comics, I'm distracted by the changes they made for TV. Not that they made changes, but that they only changed some things, often for reasons I'm not sure were necessary. And then those changes force other changes and it becomes a whole thing. But that's me. It's been re-upped for a second season of 12 eps. I'm worried about the direction it's going, but I'll watch. For you.

And really, this has all been for you. I wouldn't have wasted my autumn like this if it weren't for SMC. But things are better now. By my count, now that Sons, Walking Dead, and Mad Men are done, I'm down to about 4 hours a week. That's not bad. Maybe I'll cure a disease or learn to spelunk. Or  better, watch some movies.

Playlist: Dead Set

Sometimes it's best to stick with the basics. Charlie Brooker did just that with his 5-part British TV series about a night of the living dead. That's right, zombies, but the hook here is that the action is centered around an episode of Big Brother, which is stupidly popular across the pond (see they're not better than us. They just sound as if they are).

Zombigeddon quickly and unexpectedly sweeps across the country, and probably the world, leaving the isolated BB contestants uninfected in their TV set stronghold. It actually looks a lot like another Brit end of times story, Survivors, but, you know, with reanimated cannibalistic corpses roaming the land. It also has a strong connection to that touchstone of all things zombie, Romero's Dawn of the Dead, not just in the underlying commentary about the shallowness of society, but in the simpler, claustrophobic setting. When in doubt, giving your characters nowhere to run always works in horror.And that tact is particularly effective in traditional zombie stories where the terror from the slow moving killers comes from their overwhelming numbers. You can outrun the shuffling dead, but you can't run through them.

Yet Dead Set's dead set are new school sprinters, essentially negating that logic, so why is it getting a pass? Calm down, I'll tell you. Brooker has said that he only made his zombies fast-moving because he needed the outbreak to spread quickly so the BB contestants wouldn't have time to know what was coming. While I don't think compromising to fill in a plot hole is good practice, it works here because he remains true to the other tenants of Zombiedom.

This is good stuff and the final half hour is some of the best zombie action I've ever seen.

First Take: The Walking Dead

As expected, Frank Darabont brought his big screen A game with him and delivered a very cinematic opening chapter to this eagerly-awaited new series. As with all series premieres, it was all about set-up: introducing characters, laying out the story, and establishing tone. This hit on all counts all while sticking to the engrossing script of the source material. It does look like they will be straying from Robert Kirkman's comic series in the coming weeks, but since Darabont is on board as executive producer, I think we should have faith in his choice of direction.

The other big question mark with any new show is our first impression of the lead actors. Andrew Lincoln, another one of those covert Brits, looks like he can carry the weight of the hero, Rick Grimes. It's too early to tell about anyone else since this was pretty much Rick's show, but I liked actress Sarah Wayne Callies (Rick's wife Lori) on Prison Break which, if you saw Prison Break, you know says a lot.

And the zombies? Pretty good. Actually, the FX are very impressive so far.

Autumn TV Update 2: Judgment Day

 Where were we? Right, watching TV.

Sunday

The Simpsons: Sigh. More of the same, and all we can expect at this point. It's impossible to sustain inspiration after this many years. Still solid and better than most shows on TV, but it now simply is what it is. While it was enjoyable hearing Flight of the Conchords' charming Kiwi accents again in the premiere, it felt 3-5 years too late for hipness' sake, a recurring negative trend on the show. Which just makes you wonder how South Park can turn around a hot topic in a week.

Monday

House: Early indications are that they will be able to handle the new House-Cuddy love dynamic. The show has a perfected template and whatever storyline they plug in works as fine as any other. Hugh Laurie carries every episode and that won't change. I still feel this should be the last season, but no one at FOX has returned my calls.

The Event: Oh, it's about aliens. And a government conspiracy. I'm grateful they cleared that up right away so I didn't have to waste anymore time. Two episodes in and I realized my attention was not willing to cooperate. It's not bad, but it's also not Lost. Is that fair? Is that my problem? Anyway, here's another picture of Sarah Roemer.

Hawaii Five-O: Watched the first episode and was entertained. Scott Caan is the money here, finally tapping into his genes lately (see: last season of Entourage). I wasn't so big on the lead, Alex O'Loughlin. Actually, I didn't like him at all. They'll probably soften him up as the series goes on, but right now he comes off as a dull jerk, especially compared to Caan's comic relief. As for James Marsters' role on the show, it looks like a few times a season deal. He was shot and fell into the ocean after being underused in the pilot, but his body wasn't found. He killed O'Loughlin's dad, so he'll be back. And maybe I'll watch it then. Right now, it's a solid cop show, though not one I'll be watching weekly. If it's when you're looking for something to watch, it's definitely worth the hour.

Tuesday

No Ordinary Family: I really don't want to watch that much TV and the only reason I have in the past two weeks is because of you, dear readers. I know and you're welcome. But, I do have an open TV-watching slot after the end of Lost, and it looks like I found a winner. The pilot was a lot of fun and after The Shield, I was willing to watch Michael Chiklis in just about anything. Plus, I like Julie Benz who plays his wife. I am worried about the high concept (regular family gets superpowers) holding up, but if it doesn't, I'll just stop watching. (There's a really good fight scene in the first episode between Chiklis and a de-materializing bad guy--think Nightcrawler--that eased my worries about the potential TV sfx.)

Raising Hope & Running Wilde: Both were still funny enough the second time around to stick in the playlist. And before you ask, I don't count these as new shows to watch. I just like having half hour shows on the DVR as boredom safety valves.

Wednesday

Terriers: Recorded three episodes. Didn't watch any. Had to pull the plug. It's supposed to be pretty good so maybe this is a future DVD watch. 

Thursday

30 Rock: Picked up where it left off as the best comedy on TV. Tracey Morgan is so good on this show.

The Office: I thought the opening "lip dub" was embarrassing. Here's the life cycle of every great comedy: Discovery (when it finds its legs and clicks with the audience); Peak (usually early, season 2 or 3); Plateau (still funny, but getting too comfortable, too easy for the writers to redecorate old material); Fall (going through the motions, usually to get to syndication. This is when shows get gimmicky or begin adding new characters like babies or cute little black kids). If a show lasts longer than this it can no longer be considered great and has damaged its legacy. The Office is falling. I hope it pulls its chute before it goes splat. 

Community: Another DVR time filler. May lose playing time to the two Tuesday sitcoms.

Outsourced: This had a very low ceiling and needs to jump off a stepladder to even hit that. The first episode wasn't painfully bad, it was worse. It was immediately irrelevant. I don't think America is going to watch a sitcom set in India and they're definitely not going to watch a dull one. Everyone's a caricature, but not even in an interesting offensive way. Ok, I shouldn't waste time on this but two things from the pilot: 1. The main character was told he had to move to India to manage his company's relocated call center. He's a young guy with no family. He doesn't want to go, but is told if he doesn't he will lose his job at the novelty company. So...of course he moves all the way to India. Only a retard would do that. 2. One of the Indian women at the call center refuses to speak. She was hired to talk on the phone. Get it? That's just a cheap, lazy gag (and yes, they stole it from Police Academy...in 1984.) Here's the thing: Network Prime Time is like the Major Leagues. Only the best of the best should be there. Crap like this just doesn't have the talent to deserve the shot. Outsourced couldn't carry 30 Rock's jock.

Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I'll say it: it's been a slow start to the season. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm hoping it's not that success has made them complacent, or worse, bored. I'm hoping they haven't plateaued (see, it's catching on). Not panicking yet. 

The League: Has shot right up my list. This is a funny show. Watch it. 

 

Was Don Draper Mumbling More Than Usual This Week?

Did anyone else notice who directed this week's episode ("Hands and Knees") of Mad Men? Right, probably not. So it's a good thing God invented SMC.

The answer, as you will know in mere milliseconds, is Humpday director Lynn Shelton. I'd like to get all pompous with a discourse about how her indie aesthetic captured the transitional malaise of the the mid-60s landscape, but I didn't notice any difference. It's TV and all the episodes are supposed to look the same, like one long movie. Not being an industry insider, I can only guess that she would have been back filming Mark Duplass's ass pretty quickly if she whipped out the hand-held.  Still a good opportunity and welcome exposure.

While we're here, I think Mad Men is edging closer and closer to overtaking The Wire for best show ever status. It's not really fair to consider an active show since so much depends on the series wrap-up, but it's worth keeping an eye on.

Playlist: Death Comes to Town

There's nothing more hit or miss than sketch comedy (insert own Helen Keller joke here*). Comedy of any kind is hard enough (or so I'm told), but when you get a group of funny people trying to be funny together, you more often than not get a train wreck of comedic sensibility and ego, both of which would be trains in that example, though I suppose they could be arguing on the tracks and depending on the size of the ego, say Chevy Chase's, could make the Crash at Crush look like like a fender bender on the LIE. As I was saying, comedy is hard enough.

The Kids in the Hall were one of the best sketch comedy troupes. When they were on, they were fresh and smart and inspired in ways that other comedians couldn't even imagine. Even though they were championed by Saturday Night Live's Lorne Michaels, they were always closer in spirit to Monty Python than the more mainstream SNL. But, like Python, the end all and be all in the field, when their skits didn't work, they really didn't work. As big a fan as I am of Python, I admit to finding a lot of their pieces nonsensical and nearly unwatchable. That's what you get when working with artists in such a volatile medium. Are the highs worth the lows? Or is it better to shoot for the middle, like SNL? That's the raging art debate, right there. Burning out or fading away or, like SNL, staining the very fabric of pop culture until some space age solvent is discovered to remove you.

Well, The Kids have been gone for some time, but they returned this summer with an eight episode series on IFC called, Death Comes to Town, and it's probably the best thing they have done to date. Maybe I should say the most consistently good thing they have done as every episode is cohesive and accessibly funny. The whole thing plays like Twin Peaks in a quirky little Canadian town with the Kids playing most of the major characters as usual (and Dave Foley still makes me forget he's not a woman). I think this was missed by a lot of people, but should make one of those great DVD finds. Man, I love TV shows with short seasons.

*Really, Helen Keller? She died like a hundred years ago. Actually, 1968. Really? Yeah, she lived to be 87. Oh, all the things she didn't see in her life. Makes it sadder, doesn't it? Anyway, that's still 42 years ago. I know, but would you have preferred Ray Charles? Even Stevie Wonder hasn't been culturally relevant since The Cosby Show was on. What I'm saying is that we need a new famous blind person. Have we become so shallow that we cannot allow someone who isn't physically perfect to grace even a scant few pixels for our seedy little eyes? I'm not asking for a blind LiLo here. I'll settle for a visually-impaired kid on Glee. And while you're at it, Marlee Matlin ain't getting any younger.

Autumn TV Update

It's that time again (I know, can you believe it?) for the first annual Mid-Unofficial First Week of the Autumn TV Season Update. For those of you playing along at home, remember to use a pencil and not a pen to mark your screens. You're not professionals.

Monday
What I'll Watch: 
House: Haven't yet. I will. Relax.
Monday Night Football: Saints-Niners. Watched a little. Eh.

What I'll DVR:
Hawaii Five-0: I did. It got good ratings. Will I watch it? Let's find out together next week.

What I Mentioned:
The Event: DVR'd it...and watched it. I know, what can I say, I was curious. Verdict? A little less curious. No, I don't know what it's going to be about, or what "the event" is. I'm just not that interested in finding out. Is it aliens? I hope it's not aliens. The pilot jumped around in time to build suspense for the climatic money shot. There's a government conspiracy at play because no one wants to watch a show about health care reform. I didn't buy in for whatever reason. The lead actor, Jason Ritter, didn't do anything for me. Actually, the only reason I'd watch another episode is Sarah Roemer. It's the freckles.

Tuesday
What I'll Watch:
Sons of Anarchy: They're handling the potentially show-killing kidnapped baby storyline very well. I should have given them more credit. I apologize.

What I'll DVR:
Running Wilde: Did and watched it. Better than expected. It had a mini horse, so how could it not have been. I'm not sure about Keri Russell and the premise is ridiculous. Actually, the entire show is based on Will Arnett's charming smugness. Not exactly a confidence-building long range plan. Time killer right now.

What I Didn't Mention:
Raising Hope: Sitcom on before Running Wilde so I just recorded it as well. And watched it. And liked it. It was created by Greg Garcia, who also created My Name is Earl which was one of the better shows on TV during its first season. Garcia has a knack for mining humor out of poor people without using them as the punchline. Earl got gimmicky and lost its way, so I wouldn't bank on Garcia's track record. Here's what we have here: 20 year old guy has one night stand with a girl who turns out to be a serial killer. She gets pregnant and eventually electrocuted and he is left with the baby. Yes, they electrocuted her on the show and, yes, it worked as comedy. Have to admit, I didn't see that coming. Anyway, the guy's mom is Martha Plimpton, who has actually gotten better looking with age. I know, that's not saying much, but considering where we started, it is. Her character, however, comes across very similarly to Jaime Pressly's in Earl. For that matter, the lead, Lucas Neff, sounds a lot like a combination of Earl and his brother, Randy. There's some promise, but I'm not sold yet.

Wednesday
What I'll DVR:
Terriers: I did. Three weeks in a row now. That's the limit. If I don't watch one this weekend, I have to pull the plug. I think I know how this is going to end.

Autumn TV Preview: Fridays & Saturdays

There was a time in the not so distant past (er, my childhood) when there was actually something to watch on the weekend. In fact, Dallas was one of the two top rated shows on TV for 5 straight years at one point while airing at the now dead man's time of Friday at 9 (fyi, it was Kristen). Then there was ABC's long-running popular TGIF family block that my sisters would always watch despite me telling them over and over how lame they were...as I was sitting there next to them (did I do that?) And Saturday used to be an even bigger destination viewing night. Now? Literally nothing. There are zero scripted programs scheduled for Saturday night. I'm not blaming them for giving up. I don't do anything and I still don't watch TV on Friday or Saturday night. 

What I'll DVR and Probably Get Around to Watching

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC): As you can see from the above pic, this stars "Arrested Development" alum David Cross and Will Arnett and, yes, that's enough. I don't even know what it's about. Does it matter? It's only six episodes.  

Added Frank Cred: that young bloke on the left up there? That's Blake Harrison from The Inbetweeners. Just watch it.

Autumn TV Preview: Thursdays

Well, we're over the hump and picking up speed. That's gravity, folks. So powerful a force it even holds sway over figures of speech. Thursday has been the money night for a long time now and this season is more of the same. Must see? That's a bit extreme. Consider it a strong suggestion which you better heed. Or else.

What I'll Watch

30 Rock (NBC): The funniest network show, surpassing "The Office" two seasons ago. Tina Fey may be a bit overexposed right now, but she continues to back up the hype. Let's enjoy it while it lasts. And let's enjoy Tracy Morgan while we can. I think he's a naturally funny guy and his performance here is one of the most consistently entertaining things in any medium. But he's also a funny guy in the other sense of the word in that he needs a very clearly defined role, like he has here, to fully harness his humor. It's quickly obvious when he's just thrown into a role and expected to be "funny." Let's also remember to enjoy it an hour earlier at 8:30 because NBC has gone with the innovative strategy of screwing with a good thing.

The Office (NBC): Still on and still holding onto to the long outlived premise of a documentary in progress. That's fine, but without that natural end point the narrative lost its immediacy and devolved into a series of directionless gags. Granted, there are still a lot of inspired comedic moments, but the show has reached the point all shows reach where its continued existence is its sole reason for existence. I am excited about the return of Amy Ryan and I expect Steve Carell to up his game for his last season. Maybe someday the rest of the show will do the same.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX): The official sitcom of SMC. If you haven't seen it yet despite our proselytizing, don't fear! You can pick up this show without missing a beat. Bonus: you then will have 5 seasons to catch up on. Discussion Question: Is Kaitlin Olson the best comedic actress on TV? 

The League (FX): I missed the first season last year, but Vinny Guns has said, like Sunny, don't worry about it. Of course, the SMC draw here is that it stars Mark Duplass. We like him.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

Outsourced (NBC): "The Office"...in India. All I know for now is that it's on after "The Office," so I'll give it a shot. I am interested to see what the viewer response will be to an Indian-heavy cast.

What I'll DVR For Some Reason and Probably Get Around to Watching Because It's Only a Half Hour

Community (NBC): I liked Joel McHale on "The Soup", so I had reasonable expectations when this debuted last autumn. It was reasonable to expect to laugh once an episode, right? Well, it took them some time to figure things out (like adding jokes to the script), but it got betterish as the season went on, including one of the better episodes of any show last year. I'm still not excited, but I think it's already programmed to record. Score another one for laziness.

Autumn TV Preview: Wednesdays

One of my favorite parts of "The Wonder Years" was when the dad came up grumbling about busting his hump at the office. It's a great expression, made even better by the fact that you don't even need the innuendo of that other more common use of the word. Kinda like referring to Wednesday as "hump day," although I've heard my share of cheap jokes about that. It's a bit disappointing that there isn't a fun origin story for that as it simply alludes to Wednesday being a hill in the middle of the week. I know, you were hoping for some sort of Scottish fertility angle, too. There is the HUMP! amateur sex film festival which was at the center of one of my favorite movies of last year, Humpday. All of which is my way of saying there's nothing on Wednesdays.

What I DVR'd and Haven't Watched Yet But Still Plan To

Terriers (FX): FX has built up a lot of goodwill in recent years and this has gotten good buzz. It doesn't hurt that "The Shield" mastermind Shawn Ryan is an exec producer. Looks like it could be fun, but I just have to find the time to watch it. Stay tuned.

Also, keep an eye out for FX's boxing drama, "Lights Out," in January. That's a preview in a preview. Kaufman-esque, ain't it?

Autumn TV Preview: Tuesdays

What I'll Watch

Sons of Anarchy (FX): This has always been better than it should be. It's an over-the-top show about outlaw bikers that's grounded by addictive writing and compelling performances. Season 2 was terrific, aided by white powerful sleaze of the earth turns by Adam Arkin and Henry Rollins, but ended on a disturbing note. No, not the disturbing gang rape way it began, but the disturbing kidnapped baby way that usually signals writer's block. Babies don't bring anything to the table except cred-killing melodrama. That said, I watched episode 1 last night and, baby be damned, they brought it. The last minute was game-changing, season finale worthy insane. Also, great theme song.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

No Ordinary Family (ABC): The premise of a super-powered family was already played out before they wrote the script. However, that doesn't necessarily make it bad. The casting of Michael Chiklis, on the other hand, necessarily makes it good. Or, at least, watchable. If only he played a super-powered Vic Mackey (which would support my theory that actors should just play their signature characters in everything). Julie Benz and Autumn Reeser add to the promising cast. So, I'll promise I might watch it. Take that to the bank, Nielsen.

Running Wilde (FOX): Two things working against this from the jump. One, FOX has a depressing record of live-action comedies, and two, it's in the 9:30 dead zone. The DVR actually negates that second one as no one has to remember when it's actually on. Which is good because the only reason I'm thinking about this at all is because it marks the Will Arnett's return to television. Ok, the other reason is because I keep hoping it's a reality show about chasing Olivia Wilde.

What I Would Maybe Watch, But Probably Won't

Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC): Speaking of returns to TV, Michael Imperioli is back on the less cool side of the law as a detective in the titular punchline metropolis. This was originally shot as a mockumentary, but they changed their mind and re-shot it as just another cop show. Better safe than interesting. But back to my earlier point, wouldn't you just picture Christopher Moltasanti the whole time. Give us what we want, Hollywood. And by "us" I mean "me." Everyone else will fall in line.

Autumn TV Preview: Mondays

There was a time when I could tell you what I was going to watch each of the 22 prime time hours (though I'm not sure there was a time when you would have cared). I feel fortunate, and a little proud, that I have curtailed my viewing quite a bit over the years. I'd like to attribute it to natural maturation or even to new found sophisticated pastimes. I'd also like to not lie to you, sweetie, so I'll have to admit it's more intolerance than anything else. It happens to the best of us, which in our case would be me (so what's that say about you?). Have my tastes changed? Maybe. I'd like to assume a couple of degrees of refinement. Have I learned to appreciate the intrinsic value of time, the supply and demand in the free market of my own mortality? Yeah, probably not. I think I'm just cranky.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't another diatribe about the boob tubery of society. In fact, some of the greatest forms of entertainment ever made are only a remote or mouse click away. Unfortunately, so is a godawful tonnage of crap. So much so that most of it is just white noise at this point and I'm tired of wading through it or, worse, drowning in it, pulled under by some tenth generation hellspawn of a remake of a once moderately original version of a show. What I may be trying to say is do we really need Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC) and Harry Loves Lisa (TV Land)? Or is that what the terrorists want us to watch?

It was rhetorical, stay with me. So, after plenty of ado, here's what I'll be watching this fall. It won't make you as cool as me, but it's a start. So, take notes. No, there won't be a test, unless you consider every day a pop quiz. Which you should. And there's no curve. But there is extra credit. It's called a bribe. Cash or cookies will be accepted.

What I'll Watch

House (FOX): I hope this is the final season, not because I wouldn't keep watching Hugh Laurie give one of the best performances of all time, but because I would. Stories need an end. It's not like Stieg Larsson kept adding pages to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo once it became popular. No, he died. (Yes, there are 2 sequels, nerd, but my point is that an entire TV show is one story, like one book. Except "The Wire." Whatever.) A less drastic alternative would be to start a new story. Any show in this discussion has already generated a good deal of money for its creators, so keeping it on life support for more will only lessen the one thing they can't buy: artistic fulfillment. Then again, they could buy some really cool other shit instead.

Monday Night Football (ESPN):  I usually don't even watch the whole game unless my favorite team is playing. I tend to go off and do something more productive like flossing orphans or, well, this. Then I'll check the score in the second half and end up staying up too late completely ruining the next day and not adding anything to my life. Again, unless the Cowboys are playing (what? I'm a real American. Don't expect an apology). Then I spend three hours yelling at Tony Romo.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

Hawaii Five-O (CBS): This didn't look like anything more than another breezy cop show...until they cast James Marsters as the main villain. Now it looks like another breezy cop show with James Marsters. So, that's something.

I should mention The Event (NBC), an alien invasion conspiracy, though I wouldn't think intergalactic traversing higher beings would need a labyrinthine plot. I'm thinking more like giant lasers. Anyway, it's this year's Lost, not to be confused with last year's Lost, Flash Forward, which I did DVR and only got around to watching one episode which turned out for the best since it was canceled before anything was explained.

Til Tuesdays.

Playlist: Survivors (Series 1)

As with most things British, a little history is in order. Survivors is based on the 1976 novel by Terry Nation, which itself was based on the 1975 BBC series of the same name. So, it's not a remake in the traditional sense, though it really is. All three are about a band of people who, well, survive a massive global flu pandemic. 99% of the human race massive. Which still leaves almost 70 million people. 50,000 of which would proportionately be in England, which at approximately 242,000 sq. km would result in roughly 1 person every 5 km. All of which means nothing to me since I have no idea what a km is. However, I would like it noted that I did not look any of that up.

This is a realistic post-apocalypse, so no zombies or Thunderdomes. And that's a nice change of pace because, really, what would you do if you were left nearly alone in a world that was basically intact? No, really, what? It's a good question. Okay, I know you would resort to cannibalism eventually because of course you would, but what would you do at first? The main characters (all seemingly immune to the fatal disease) here choose the safety of others and form an alliance of companionship. There are only 6 episodes, but it's enough to discover that not everyone else who's still around shares their view (at least not the different groups they meet each show). Of course, there is an overarching conspiracy in play, perfect for the finale cliffhanger. Overall, though, I had trouble bonding with the characters. It took me halfway through the season to remember everyone's name, even my supposed favorite, Zoe Tapper's Anya. There's a good story here, but not necessarily told in a captivating way.

What this brought to mind was the 1983 TV movie, The Day After. I wasn't allowed to watch it when it first aired because there was this campaign to warn parents about emotionally scarring their kids. Remember, this was the height of Rambo Reagan's Red Scare. And while that sounds a lot like a marketing angle, it wasn't without merit. It was chilling even years later when I finally saw it. Truth may or may not be stranger than fiction, but it's usually scarier.

Playlist: Party Down (Season 1)

Why? Recommended by a few people, including our very own Vin

If you don't know (and you might not since this was on Starz, which you may also not know is a cable network), this comedy follows a small catering team to a different event each episode. It's L.A., so the charcaters are all trying to break into or back into the Industry. Fittingly, the show works because of the actors.

The thing about ensemble casts is that you need to start everyone off as a broad charcater type in order to ground the audience. Look at Kramer from "Seinfeld." he started as "the goofy neighbor." No one knew anything about him so they had to play it a little obvious at first. He was still funny, but he became funnier as he took on more layers. And, as is the case on "Party Down," those layers are exposed during interactions with the other characters. Good shows are self-feeding organisms: they make they're own jokes.

As for those actors, I didn't want to like Adam Scott--he has one of those punchable faces--but he centers the show with his low-key charm. I also didn't want to like Jane Lynch--for personal "Glee"-backlash reasons (man, I'm a jerk)--but she's undeniably naturally funny. PD's Kramer. And Ken Marino, as the team leader, is so sweetly desperate that you feel bad for laughing at him. Not that it stops you.

SMC Bonus Cool Point: Director Fred Savage is also a regular director on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Who needs Winnie, right?

Favorite Episode: "Celebrate Ricky Sargulesh" (Guest-starring Steven Weber as an Eastern European gangster who just got off for murder. Most out loud laughs of the season.)

Favorite Guest Star: Kristen Bell, "Stennheiser-Pong Wedding Reception" (I'm not usually a fan of hers, but she was spot on as the anal-retentive team leader of a rival catering team)

Playlist: Entourage (Season 6)

Why? I'm a glutton for punishment

We talked a little about this show on our last podcast and we all agreed that while none of us actually liked it, we also couldn't stop watching. For me, it has an almost comfort food quality about it. It's solid and predictable and (content aside) competently made. The other factor, of course, is that we hate the characters because we want to be them. Any of them. It's every guy's fantasy to be able to live that life with his friends in tow and while seemingly not being asked to make any compromises or suffer any consequences. It's a load of crap, is what it is, but god how we want it to be our crap. Not to mention the fact that while the odds of such a stroke of fortune happening for us are microscopic, they're not literally outside the possible.

Season 6 played up those excesses of fame, but more importantly it did so while playing up the most appealing characteristics of the main characters (finally). Vinny Chase, a bigger star than ever and between gigs, was relegated to tagging along with his friends and picking up random girls. Really, that's all he did and it worked because the less acting Adrian Grenier is forced to do, the better.

Johnny Drama was the best thing about this show at one time, but then the writers couldn't help themselves and turned his neuroticism into obnoxiousness. Here, he had more professionally vulnerable moments that gave him some much forgotten depth (though the good news he gets int he finale almost negates the whole thing).

Turtle was the most bearable he has ever been. He's always come off as a sad little poser, but we finally got to see a little of the nice guy under the Yankees cap thanks to his relationship with Jamie-Lynn Soprano.

E was still a tool, but not as big of one as usual. I never understood this character. There's nothing about him to suggest he's be able to survive on his own in the Industry, yet they insist on making him some sort of power player. It's especially misguided when you juxtapose him with uberagent Ari Gold. Love him or hate him, that's a guy who can get things done. It was a big season for Ari and Jeremy Piven brought the goods as he always has (still seems like a jerk though).

The thing that bothered me the most about this season was the strange casting of Alexis Dziena as E's love interest. Out of all the young actresses in Hollywood (not to mention models and random girls off the street), why would they go with a weirder-looking Fiona Apple? And then to make her an overpossessive nutcase? Don't ruin the fantasy, idiots.

Best Episode: "Fore" (The celebrity golf outing with an F-bomb dropping Jeffrey Tambor)

Best Celeb Guest: Matt Damon ("Give a Little Bit")

Playlist: Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 7)

Why? Playing catch-up

Seven seasons in, there aren't that many surprises left in Larry David's bag of misanthropy. That's not a knock, but a recognition that he has now become every bit an entrenched cultural character as his alter ego, George Costanza. There's a comforting familiarity with Curb at this stage. The fact that you know the formula of every episode and still laugh aloud means it's in that zone all great shows experience during their prime.

This season was centered around the much-hyped Seinfeld reunion culminating in the show-within-a-show finale. Yes, they wrote a new Seinfeld episode, and yes, it looked pretty good. As we discussed on Episode 4.0 of our podcast, I was and still am a big fan of the original Seinfeld series finale. Apparently, so is Larry David (who wrote it) which only endears the sonofabitch to me that much more. It seems like the rest of the cast have given in to public sentiment and aren't standing by the show. Their loss. Actually, they're all too rich to care.

One minor gripe, though maybe I just noticed it more this season: Larry seemed to resolve most of his self-inflicted mishaps by buying his way out of them. It lessens a bit of the impact when the consequences are mitigated by cash. It just makes it less relatable.

Favorite Episode: The Bare Midriff (if only for the final scene of Larry hanging off the roof)

TV Oddities: Road Edition

Ok, so I am on the road in search of TV Oddities, right?...not really but I am currently in New Orleans...I passed by the homes of Brad Pitt and John Goodman so far...no sightings...and then it came...in my very Hotel (The Windsor Court)...they are filming a location TV show (Paul you ready for this)...the Jason Lee and DJ Qualls mega-Not-Hit...Memphis Beat...never saw the show but it seems like the tax credit is better here then in Memphis...no other place in the world looks like and feels like New Orleans..why not call it New Orleans Beat?...I guess to make Jason Lee act like Elvis they had to call it Memphis...any way for the next 2 days they will be filming all over here...haven't seen Brody yet...till next time

Jason Says: "FUCK YOU NEW ORLEANS"