Apollo 18 (2011)

So I thought I needed to explain my tweet. Yes, this faux doc about "found footage" from a secret 70s moon mission is essentially Blair Witch in Space. Or Paranormal Activity in Space, depending how far back you want to take your cultural reference. But, it's not all that bad--not as good as the prior, but better than the latter.

My problem with A18, besides taking a little too long to get to the tension (felt like the script padding it probably was), is that it ultimately failed to deliver the kicker at the end. While I thought Paranormal Activity was a cheap stunt of a film, it did know how to close. This movie pulled its finishing blow, giving us just what we expected and nothing more. Honestly, I think they could have made the same movie with a better result if they had just spent a little more time developing the drama and raising the stakes.

Okay, SPOILER ALERT. I can see how they sold this story: astronauts discover "other" footprints on the Moon. Boom! There you go, solid hook. Who left the footprints? Dead cosmonauts who themselves had been on a secret mission years before. Gold. But, then what? No one wants a cold war political thriller here. So, how did the ruskies die? Well, something else is on the moon, too. Of course, horror's hot right now. So, some sort of alien monster naturally. However, it can't be too advanced. No humanoid ETs with spaceports we can see from Earth. Plus, we're spending most of the budget on food services. So, little creepy crawly...rock crab looking things? Rocks, right, they would have to look like rocks. No need to get all sciency, though. The audience is more than willing to buy aliens of any biological make or model. Almost done. I'm assuming the aliens kill the astronauts? What else would we do in the third act? So Astronauts arrive on the moon? Check. Astronauts find something weird? You got it. Astronauts bite it. And scene. But won't everyone see that coming? So what? The trailer will kill. Plus, it's only 86 minutes. MINUS

Playlist: Pandorum

You've been here before: Earth of the future has a foot and 4 toes in the grave and our desperate descendants have to seek a new planetary home to slowly ravage. You know the spaceship, too: all exposed wires and flickering lights (at least our crappy work ethic will survive. Speaking of which, sorta, what are the chances that people will be speaking exactly the same as we speak today centuries into the future? Right, none. I know why movies overlook this. Because it's a movie. I'm just saying). Oh, and since non-hyperdrive interstellar travel is such a drag, someone inevitably gets a case of cabin fever and goes all space Shining. "Three years into their shift, one of their officers had a psychological breakdown. The doctors referred to it as ODS symptom. The privates, we call it Pandorum. It drove him insane. He became convinced that the flight was cursed. Evil."

Ooh, right? Like I said, nothing new. But, and here's where this whole post reverses trajectory, or something. This is a good movie. A goof sci-fi movie, which sadly, is saying something considering the quickie Syfy dreck we have to endure. And by "have to" I mean because we're idiots. No, this is a film that takes a standard premise and just does it well. Nothing spectacular (though I want to shave with one of those laser razors), but a lot that was solid. I didn't even mind that the double twist ending was visible from a light year away (Science in your face!). It wasn't played for shock value so much as just the resolution to the plot.  

That quote, btw, was from Dennis Quaid, who is the big name here, though not really the star. That goes to Ben Foster who has to race to save the ship's reactor (along with Milla Jovovich knockoff, Antje Traue. Seeing as this was made by the producers of the Resident Evil series I can't imagine that was an accident.) Foster's been putting together a nice run of strong performances in smaller movies. (One more casting bit: I hate Cam Gigandet. Not in an Affleck way, but in a this guy is way too good at playing a prick way. he probably gives kittens CPR in real life. Unlike Affleck, who eats them.)