March Preview

Lion or lamb, or zombie sheep? How, oh how, is March going to bring it? Here's what I'm looking forward to...

Sucker Punch (3.25): Potential to be the greatest movie ever. This is either going to peak in the trailer or it's going to be phenomenal. Can't wait to see what Zack Snyder does with Superman.

Paul (3.18): Pegg and Frost together again. No, Edgar Wright behind the camera, though. Still excited, but not as excited as I would be if the titular character were actually Friend of the Blog Paul. When will Hollywood cash in the Big Ticket?

The Adjustment Bureau (3.4): Matt Damon and Emily Blunt in a P.K. Dick adaptation. Been waiting for this since last summer, which is usually a red flag, but the trailer looks pretty good. At least it didn't come out in January.

Should mention:
Take Me Home Tonight (3.4): Another hey let's pretend the 80s were the greatest decade ever comedy, but Hot Tub Time Machine came through early last year, so maybe.

Battle: Los Angeles (3.11): Expect the next week to be nothing but ads for this, but I don't know. Another alien invasion movie? Eh.

Autumn TV Preview: Fridays & Saturdays

There was a time in the not so distant past (er, my childhood) when there was actually something to watch on the weekend. In fact, Dallas was one of the two top rated shows on TV for 5 straight years at one point while airing at the now dead man's time of Friday at 9 (fyi, it was Kristen). Then there was ABC's long-running popular TGIF family block that my sisters would always watch despite me telling them over and over how lame they were...as I was sitting there next to them (did I do that?) And Saturday used to be an even bigger destination viewing night. Now? Literally nothing. There are zero scripted programs scheduled for Saturday night. I'm not blaming them for giving up. I don't do anything and I still don't watch TV on Friday or Saturday night. 

What I'll DVR and Probably Get Around to Watching

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (IFC): As you can see from the above pic, this stars "Arrested Development" alum David Cross and Will Arnett and, yes, that's enough. I don't even know what it's about. Does it matter? It's only six episodes.  

Added Frank Cred: that young bloke on the left up there? That's Blake Harrison from The Inbetweeners. Just watch it.

Autumn TV Preview: Thursdays

Well, we're over the hump and picking up speed. That's gravity, folks. So powerful a force it even holds sway over figures of speech. Thursday has been the money night for a long time now and this season is more of the same. Must see? That's a bit extreme. Consider it a strong suggestion which you better heed. Or else.

What I'll Watch

30 Rock (NBC): The funniest network show, surpassing "The Office" two seasons ago. Tina Fey may be a bit overexposed right now, but she continues to back up the hype. Let's enjoy it while it lasts. And let's enjoy Tracy Morgan while we can. I think he's a naturally funny guy and his performance here is one of the most consistently entertaining things in any medium. But he's also a funny guy in the other sense of the word in that he needs a very clearly defined role, like he has here, to fully harness his humor. It's quickly obvious when he's just thrown into a role and expected to be "funny." Let's also remember to enjoy it an hour earlier at 8:30 because NBC has gone with the innovative strategy of screwing with a good thing.

The Office (NBC): Still on and still holding onto to the long outlived premise of a documentary in progress. That's fine, but without that natural end point the narrative lost its immediacy and devolved into a series of directionless gags. Granted, there are still a lot of inspired comedic moments, but the show has reached the point all shows reach where its continued existence is its sole reason for existence. I am excited about the return of Amy Ryan and I expect Steve Carell to up his game for his last season. Maybe someday the rest of the show will do the same.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX): The official sitcom of SMC. If you haven't seen it yet despite our proselytizing, don't fear! You can pick up this show without missing a beat. Bonus: you then will have 5 seasons to catch up on. Discussion Question: Is Kaitlin Olson the best comedic actress on TV? 

The League (FX): I missed the first season last year, but Vinny Guns has said, like Sunny, don't worry about it. Of course, the SMC draw here is that it stars Mark Duplass. We like him.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

Outsourced (NBC): "The Office"...in India. All I know for now is that it's on after "The Office," so I'll give it a shot. I am interested to see what the viewer response will be to an Indian-heavy cast.

What I'll DVR For Some Reason and Probably Get Around to Watching Because It's Only a Half Hour

Community (NBC): I liked Joel McHale on "The Soup", so I had reasonable expectations when this debuted last autumn. It was reasonable to expect to laugh once an episode, right? Well, it took them some time to figure things out (like adding jokes to the script), but it got betterish as the season went on, including one of the better episodes of any show last year. I'm still not excited, but I think it's already programmed to record. Score another one for laziness.

Autumn TV Preview: Wednesdays

One of my favorite parts of "The Wonder Years" was when the dad came up grumbling about busting his hump at the office. It's a great expression, made even better by the fact that you don't even need the innuendo of that other more common use of the word. Kinda like referring to Wednesday as "hump day," although I've heard my share of cheap jokes about that. It's a bit disappointing that there isn't a fun origin story for that as it simply alludes to Wednesday being a hill in the middle of the week. I know, you were hoping for some sort of Scottish fertility angle, too. There is the HUMP! amateur sex film festival which was at the center of one of my favorite movies of last year, Humpday. All of which is my way of saying there's nothing on Wednesdays.

What I DVR'd and Haven't Watched Yet But Still Plan To

Terriers (FX): FX has built up a lot of goodwill in recent years and this has gotten good buzz. It doesn't hurt that "The Shield" mastermind Shawn Ryan is an exec producer. Looks like it could be fun, but I just have to find the time to watch it. Stay tuned.

Also, keep an eye out for FX's boxing drama, "Lights Out," in January. That's a preview in a preview. Kaufman-esque, ain't it?

Autumn TV Preview: Tuesdays

What I'll Watch

Sons of Anarchy (FX): This has always been better than it should be. It's an over-the-top show about outlaw bikers that's grounded by addictive writing and compelling performances. Season 2 was terrific, aided by white powerful sleaze of the earth turns by Adam Arkin and Henry Rollins, but ended on a disturbing note. No, not the disturbing gang rape way it began, but the disturbing kidnapped baby way that usually signals writer's block. Babies don't bring anything to the table except cred-killing melodrama. That said, I watched episode 1 last night and, baby be damned, they brought it. The last minute was game-changing, season finale worthy insane. Also, great theme song.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

No Ordinary Family (ABC): The premise of a super-powered family was already played out before they wrote the script. However, that doesn't necessarily make it bad. The casting of Michael Chiklis, on the other hand, necessarily makes it good. Or, at least, watchable. If only he played a super-powered Vic Mackey (which would support my theory that actors should just play their signature characters in everything). Julie Benz and Autumn Reeser add to the promising cast. So, I'll promise I might watch it. Take that to the bank, Nielsen.

Running Wilde (FOX): Two things working against this from the jump. One, FOX has a depressing record of live-action comedies, and two, it's in the 9:30 dead zone. The DVR actually negates that second one as no one has to remember when it's actually on. Which is good because the only reason I'm thinking about this at all is because it marks the Will Arnett's return to television. Ok, the other reason is because I keep hoping it's a reality show about chasing Olivia Wilde.

What I Would Maybe Watch, But Probably Won't

Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC): Speaking of returns to TV, Michael Imperioli is back on the less cool side of the law as a detective in the titular punchline metropolis. This was originally shot as a mockumentary, but they changed their mind and re-shot it as just another cop show. Better safe than interesting. But back to my earlier point, wouldn't you just picture Christopher Moltasanti the whole time. Give us what we want, Hollywood. And by "us" I mean "me." Everyone else will fall in line.

Autumn TV Preview: Mondays

There was a time when I could tell you what I was going to watch each of the 22 prime time hours (though I'm not sure there was a time when you would have cared). I feel fortunate, and a little proud, that I have curtailed my viewing quite a bit over the years. I'd like to attribute it to natural maturation or even to new found sophisticated pastimes. I'd also like to not lie to you, sweetie, so I'll have to admit it's more intolerance than anything else. It happens to the best of us, which in our case would be me (so what's that say about you?). Have my tastes changed? Maybe. I'd like to assume a couple of degrees of refinement. Have I learned to appreciate the intrinsic value of time, the supply and demand in the free market of my own mortality? Yeah, probably not. I think I'm just cranky.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't another diatribe about the boob tubery of society. In fact, some of the greatest forms of entertainment ever made are only a remote or mouse click away. Unfortunately, so is a godawful tonnage of crap. So much so that most of it is just white noise at this point and I'm tired of wading through it or, worse, drowning in it, pulled under by some tenth generation hellspawn of a remake of a once moderately original version of a show. What I may be trying to say is do we really need Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC) and Harry Loves Lisa (TV Land)? Or is that what the terrorists want us to watch?

It was rhetorical, stay with me. So, after plenty of ado, here's what I'll be watching this fall. It won't make you as cool as me, but it's a start. So, take notes. No, there won't be a test, unless you consider every day a pop quiz. Which you should. And there's no curve. But there is extra credit. It's called a bribe. Cash or cookies will be accepted.

What I'll Watch

House (FOX): I hope this is the final season, not because I wouldn't keep watching Hugh Laurie give one of the best performances of all time, but because I would. Stories need an end. It's not like Stieg Larsson kept adding pages to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo once it became popular. No, he died. (Yes, there are 2 sequels, nerd, but my point is that an entire TV show is one story, like one book. Except "The Wire." Whatever.) A less drastic alternative would be to start a new story. Any show in this discussion has already generated a good deal of money for its creators, so keeping it on life support for more will only lessen the one thing they can't buy: artistic fulfillment. Then again, they could buy some really cool other shit instead.

Monday Night Football (ESPN):  I usually don't even watch the whole game unless my favorite team is playing. I tend to go off and do something more productive like flossing orphans or, well, this. Then I'll check the score in the second half and end up staying up too late completely ruining the next day and not adding anything to my life. Again, unless the Cowboys are playing (what? I'm a real American. Don't expect an apology). Then I spend three hours yelling at Tony Romo.

What I'll DVR the First Episode Of and Maybe Watch Eventually

Hawaii Five-O (CBS): This didn't look like anything more than another breezy cop show...until they cast James Marsters as the main villain. Now it looks like another breezy cop show with James Marsters. So, that's something.

I should mention The Event (NBC), an alien invasion conspiracy, though I wouldn't think intergalactic traversing higher beings would need a labyrinthine plot. I'm thinking more like giant lasers. Anyway, it's this year's Lost, not to be confused with last year's Lost, Flash Forward, which I did DVR and only got around to watching one episode which turned out for the best since it was canceled before anything was explained.

Til Tuesdays.