Rise of the Planet of the Apes

So, James Franco is a criminally irresponsible scientist who tortures animals so he can cure his father's Alzheimer's which is the exact same plot as the far superior Deep Blue Sea, except with chimps instead of sharks. And that's not an insignificant difference, either, as nobody cares about sharks. Anyway, he works at one of these high tech labs that movies like this always feature and that always place such a high value on "profits" that they will back an experimental drug based on the handsome scientist's assurance that it basically works. Here that means until a chimp goes nuts and wrecks the place. Fair enough.

Except that the chimp went nuts not because of the drug but because she was trying to protect her newborn baby that no one in the lab seemed to know existed. They didn't even know she was pregnant. This chimp they spent millions of dollars testing and observing. Then again, this is the same lab that hired James Franco as its lead researcher.

But leave it to our boy James not to be discouraged. Not only does he take the baby chimp home to live with him, but he decided that the father he cares so much for would make the perfect subject on which to test his untested drug. Not only does it work--his dad can act like John Lithgow again--but the baby chimp, Caesar, is really freaking smart. Like, its mother genetically passed down the drug smart.

So a few years go by and Caesar is really smart now, for a chimp, and everything is sweet and rosy until one day Caesar gets out (yes, he's still living with Franco and dad) and bites the finger off a neighbor. Not good. So Caesar is taken to an ape sanctuary outside of town (the town being San Francisco). Even though we are led to believe the sanctuary is either government-run, or at least sanctioned, it is run by Bryan Cox and his evil twerp son, Draco Malfoy, as a mini primate prison. It's like Midnight Express for monkeys. But James Franco is too heartbroken to check out the facility and so leaves poor Caesar alone in the big house. There's a brief scene where Franco acts like a dick to a city clerk by trying to get his court date moved up, though why he isn't in jail for illegally housing a vicious animal is never explained. Or why his neighbor chose not to sue him for everything he had. Also, his dad dies, though we're not sure if it's from years of injections of the drug. Also, his lab assistant dies, though we are sure it is from minor exposure to the drug. It's a finicky drug.

Inside monkey hell, Caesar eventually gets even smarter somehow and manages to escape back to Franco's house to steal two canisters of the super drug out of the fridge and expose all his other inmates to their Brainiac effects. Instantly, all the other apes, including an orangutan and a gorilla, are people smart and they go Attica on the place. They escape and invade San Fran because why wouldn't they. I should also mention that Caesar can now speak. I'm not a scientist but I don't think that's how biology works.

Anyway, the number of escapees somehow triples and they all descend on the city to go apeshit. They even spring their cousins from the zoo and, despite not having been exposed to the drug in any way, the zoo chimps join right in. There are also more orangutans and gorillas for no explained reason.

Allow me to pause here and link to this article that points out that there are only 23 known apes in the Bay area at the present time.

Back to the movie, the apes are rampaging across the Golden Gate and they overrun the comically inept SFPD who can't shoot straight and are really good at running in fear. Caesar them leads his army to their new life among the Redwoods. The end.

This, of course, is supposed to lead to this small band of apes evolving beyond humanity and taking over the entire world. I can't wait for the sequel. MINUS

Apollo 18 (2011)

So I thought I needed to explain my tweet. Yes, this faux doc about "found footage" from a secret 70s moon mission is essentially Blair Witch in Space. Or Paranormal Activity in Space, depending how far back you want to take your cultural reference. But, it's not all that bad--not as good as the prior, but better than the latter.

My problem with A18, besides taking a little too long to get to the tension (felt like the script padding it probably was), is that it ultimately failed to deliver the kicker at the end. While I thought Paranormal Activity was a cheap stunt of a film, it did know how to close. This movie pulled its finishing blow, giving us just what we expected and nothing more. Honestly, I think they could have made the same movie with a better result if they had just spent a little more time developing the drama and raising the stakes.

Okay, SPOILER ALERT. I can see how they sold this story: astronauts discover "other" footprints on the Moon. Boom! There you go, solid hook. Who left the footprints? Dead cosmonauts who themselves had been on a secret mission years before. Gold. But, then what? No one wants a cold war political thriller here. So, how did the ruskies die? Well, something else is on the moon, too. Of course, horror's hot right now. So, some sort of alien monster naturally. However, it can't be too advanced. No humanoid ETs with spaceports we can see from Earth. Plus, we're spending most of the budget on food services. So, little creepy crawly...rock crab looking things? Rocks, right, they would have to look like rocks. No need to get all sciency, though. The audience is more than willing to buy aliens of any biological make or model. Almost done. I'm assuming the aliens kill the astronauts? What else would we do in the third act? So Astronauts arrive on the moon? Check. Astronauts find something weird? You got it. Astronauts bite it. And scene. But won't everyone see that coming? So what? The trailer will kill. Plus, it's only 86 minutes. MINUS

And We're Back

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SMCUL8R

Single Malt Cinema will now be updated at http://singlemaltcinema.tumblr.com/. 

 We hope to see you there.

Valhalla Rising (2009)

Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn has gotten quite a lot of buzz in recent years. His Pusher trilogy has become something of a cult classic and his 2008 film, Bronson, gave us a star-making turn by Vinny High Life favorite, Tom Hardy. (And, of course, he's behind this fall's breakout hit, Drive, which, despite what you're about to read, I really want to see.) But, Bronson wasn't a great film. In fact, if strapped to the rack and stretched to within an inch of my life, or just asked, I'd have to give it a MINUS. The reason is the same that this film failed me: Refn is a talented filmmaker with a strong artistic eye, but he's just not a very good storyteller. As with Bronson, he gives himself a powerful central character to work with--here, a supernaturally strong one-eyed psychopath who viciously kills his captors only to hook up with a band of Christian warriors heading for the Crusades. That's the whole movie, though. Nothing else happens, or at least nothing else that matters. It's an action movie without any action. That's a line that I feel like I'm writing a lot lately. MINUS

Win Win (2011)

Hey, Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan! That's half a plus already (the line gong down; anyone who starts their plus sign with the horizontal line is a damn sociopath). But, wait, there's more: as in, one of the best films of the year so far. Really, this is the rare nice movie that isn't sappy or preachy. And just when you think it's going to lose its way and throw in a sensational plot twist, it doesn't. Credit goes to director Thomas McCarthy, who is developing into a must-follow filmmaker (The Station Agent, The Visitor). SMC fans will know him as sleazy journalist Scott Templeton from The Wire. I also need to mention Alex Shaffer, who plays the high school wrestler Giamatti and Ryan take in, and his pitch-perfect teen monotone. Oh, and the always welcome sight of Burt Young. Paulie! PLUS

 

Meek's Cutoff (2010)

There's a good story here, but unfortunately director Kelly Reichardt chooses to ignore it. It's 1845 and three pioneer families are lost in the Oregon wilderness. Their guide is proving to be no help and soon simple survival has moved up to the top of the list of priorities. Enter a lone Native American who they capture and force to lead them to water. And then, well, nothing. The film just ends. All the work building up the drama fades to black. Critics love this shit. But if you actually read the reviews, you'll see they're more about the director than about the film itself. Then again, I didn't like Reichardt's 2006 breakthrough, Old Joy, so what do I know. Talk about a movie about nothing. That one was about two friends going camping. That's it. And it wasn't even as if they spent their time engaged in fascinating conversation. They barely spoke. I don't get it sometimes. Meek's is better. It's a beautiful film with its crisp, big sky vistas. And star Michelle Williams is as good as always. But an ultimate letdown. Sigh. MINUS

Everything Must Go (2011)

You know you're in for it when you reject a movie's premise before your ass warms th couch cushion. Here's what we get: everyone's former favorite funnyman, Will Ferrell, gets canned from his job (by Always Sunny's Glenn Howerton!), then goes home to find all of his possessions on his front lawn and a note from his wife (who we never see) saying she's gone. So, the whole world's against this schlub--right up my alley, right? Then this happens: he decides to just live on his front lawn. He does not choose to try to get into his locked house. He also fails to live in his backyard. The cops tell him he can't live on his front lawn (though not, surprisingly, that he's a moron), so he pretends to have a yard sale, becomes friends with some fat kid, and creeps out poor Rebecca Hall across the street. There's more, but it all seems contrived just to keep him on the front lawn...where he never had to be from the start. And then, I don't know, figures it all out at the end. He's also a degenerate alcoholic and generally unlikeable and I really couldn't care what happened to him by the end. MINUS

Playlist

Animal Kingdom (2010): While I didn't love this as much as our own Vinny High Life, I still liked it a lot. It reminded me of the indie small time crime stories that came out in the post-Tarantino 90s. Something like the unjustly forgotten Palookaville. And another example of how good acting can carry a film as much as any of the action. Side note: Not sure why my DVD case said, "An Australian answer to Goodfellas." Either The New York Times critic Stephen Holden has never seen Goodfellas or Australia didn't understand the question. PLUS

The Beaver (2010): I admit, I thought this was a joke when I first heard about it. I mean, Mel Gibson and a talking beaver puppet, how can this be an actual film? Or better, why? And Jodie Foster's directing? Really, it sounded more like a Funny or Die short. Well, they made it and...wait for the twist...it's good. The most surprising thing is how not absurd and over-the-top it is. Gibson's character suffers from severe depression and the only way he is able to relate to the world is through the use of the puppet. It's a sad, touching story, and a pretty realistic take on the disease. It's also one of the few types of roles I would have been able to watch Gibson play these days without being distracted by his real life plummet into bigoted insanity. And, hey, a pre-Winter's Bone Jennifer Lawrence is in it, too (this was made in 2009, but couldn't find a distributor). Something I didn't like, though, and a long time cinematic pet peeve: there's a scene where Gibson goes on a morning TV show and, as luck would have it, all the other major characters happen to be watching the same show at the same time in different locations. That then leads to an unnecessary and unrealistic rise to international fame for Gibson. Jodie should know better. PLUS

Police, Adjective (2009): I'm all over the map like the SMC version of Carmen Sandiego. Next stop, Romania. Have you heard about the Romanian New Wave? No? It's a pretty big deal in the head up their ass world of film critics. Here we have a film that, believe it or not, is accurately described by its vague title. It's about a cop following a teenager who he believes is selling hash or knows who is. So, he follows him. Literally. There's one 20 minute sequence where the cop walks behind him and then waits outside his house. Let me tell you, 20 minutes of nothing is a long time. That's it, by the way. He follows the kid and is told to bust him for smoking. He doesn't want to and his boss has him read the dictionary definition of "police" and some other words. That's the climax. Reading from the dictionary. There are other scenes of him eating and listening to a song and smoking, there's a lot of smoking. Also, Romania looks like one depressing hole. I'm surprised the cop didn't walk around with a beaver on his hand. MINUS

Playlist

Thor (2011): A big-budget superhero movie directed by an artsy foreign director? What could go wrong? Okay, that, but this is not that. This isn't some random geek-baiting project. This is Shakespeare whore Kenneth Branagh's entry into Marvel's well-oiled, corporate-controlled build-up to their epic Avengers project that hopefully won't epically fail. Whatever happens with The Avengers, Marvel and Paramount deserve credit for having a plan and sticking to it, something that just about never happens in Hollywood. And this is a pretty good film on its own. Chris Hemsworth brings his acting chops to the title role, Natalie Portman is her usual Natalie Portman self, and Tom Hiddleston as Loki is the love-to-hate supervillian previous Marvel films have been missing. (Anthony Hopkins is here, too, as Odin, but he's been in so many movies that I don't even register him anymore.) Speaking of geekbait, there's a bonus cameo by Jeremy Renner as future Avenger Hawkeye.  PLUS

Hanna (2011): Genetically-enhanced killer little girl on the run from CIA mastermind Cate Blanchett and her southern accent. Sounds fun, right? And, after a bit of a slow start, it is. And then it becomes an actual good movie, no doubt thanks to the guiding hand of director Joe Wright, best known for inaction films Atonement and Pride & Prejudice. It's very well shot with some fantastic visuals and shot and location choices. Definitely worth a watch and I'd be interested to hear what you thought of the ending. PLUS

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (2010): A lot of foreign films are really just American films in a different language, so it's interesting to come across one that is truly reflective of its native culture. Unfortunately, as in the case here, I think an unfamiliarity with Thai culture and history prevented me from ultimately appreciating this film. I have to give it the benefit of the doubt since director Apichatpong Weerasethakul (suck it, spellcheck)  won the 2010 Palme d'Or, and while I understand it, I was not able to enjoy it. In short, it's slow. Or as critic Sukhdev Sandhu described it while awarding it a perfect score, "It’s barely a film; more a floating world. To watch it is to feel many things – balmed, seduced, amused, mystified." That's a good review? No mention of the woman who has sex with a catfish?* Seriously, movie critics are such pricks. MINUS

*Yes, that happens.

Playlist

Paul (2011): If you like stars Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, then you'll like this. While they'll probably never again reach the brilliance of Shaun of the Dead, there's nothing wrong with hitting a level of consistent likability. Speaking of which, the main praise here should, believe it or not, be reserved for the way the wise-cracking titular alien voiced by Seth Rogan is NOT annoying. That's no small feat (for a CGI character or for recent Rogan). Kristin Wiig is in this, too. Is she funny? I think so. As for Pegg and Frost's usual cohort, director Edgar Wright was off filming Scott Pilgrim, but was replaced by Superbad's Greg Mottola. Not a bad sub. PLUS

White Material (2009): Here's the difference between this and director Claire Denis' 2008 film, 35 Shots of Rum: tension. As you may remember, 35 Shots was a minus for me for the simple reason that nothing happened in the way that only nothing can happen in a French film. While WM isn't exactly Crank, at least there's a pulse. Isabelle Huppert gives a strong performance as a woman trying to hold together her coffee plantation as the violence of the unnamed African nation's civil war closes in. And get this: her husband is played by none other than Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert, or as he's billed her, Christophe. I always felt that "r" was the only thing standing between him and an Oscar for Fortress. So, yes, I see now why Denis is so revered as a director. PLUS

Card Subject to Change (2010): This is a doc about the world of indie wrestling. If you know anything about the subject, you know it's inherently sad. It's a world where guys destroy their bodies for $50 a night if they're lucky. Even sadder are the former industry stars, guys (and gals) like Kevin Sullivan, Billy Kidman and Sherri Martel, who went from performing in front of thousands in arenas to a dozen goobers in VFW halls. And then there's the Ugandan Giant Kamala. Still around. Did you know he has released several R&B albums? Comes across as a real nice guy. While CStC isn't as good as 1999's Beyond the Mat, it's still a fascinating watch if you're into the scene. PLUS

Playlist

Oldboy: Not sure why it took me so long to see this, but that kind of thinking isn't going to get us anywhere, now is it? This 2003 South Korean film by director Park Chan-wook has become something of a cult classic, though I think that's selling it a little short. No doubt it's considered "cult" because it's foreign, but not everyone is as worldly as we are here at SMC. The High Life is Worldwide, baby. Yeah, so, this is really good. It has a reputation for its violence, but it plays more psychological, like Fincher's The Game or Nolan's Memento. Two scenes stand out: the eating of a whole live octopus and a fantastic side-scrolling one-shot fight. Neither done with CGI, if you can imagine such a world. Yes, there's an American remake on tap. And yes, it's being directed by Spike Lee (wait, what?). I don't see the point, but I don't think there is one. Remember when I said I liked the American remake of Infernal Affairs better because of it was amplified by its star power? Maybe proposed re-star Josh Brolin will do fine, but Choi Min-sik brings a big star presence to the title role that will be very hard to equal. PLUS

Source Code: We at SMC are big fans of Duncan Jones' 2009 debut, Moon, so we couldn't wait for his follow-up earlier this year. Not enough to actually go to the movies, but excited nonetheless. So? While it's not the follow-up I was hoping for from Jones, it's a very well done sci-fi film. The thing about Moon was how it was so different than other movies being made, a completely anti-Hollywood minimalist take on the genre. Source Code is more of the high concept thriller we are used to, but you can see the difference a quality director can make. It would be very easy to lose control of the idea of having a soldier's consciousness continuously sent back in time to relive the last eight minutes of someone's life in order to discover why a train was blown up. Hell, I had to take a break during that last sentence. But, this film works, and it keeps its focus to simply tell that story. It doesn't cram in some conspiracy subplot or try to make the story bigger than it is. It is what it is, and it's good. And what's the deal with Jake Gyllenhaal? He's becoming a pretty solid go-to actor. Reminds me of where Matt Damon started. Next stop is being good in everything he's in and then to where Damon is now--making movies better just by being in them. So, Jake, that's a "no" to Prince of Persia 2. PLUS

13 Assassins: What Vin said. I have seen Seven Samurai and this holds its own with that classic. Only criticism: there's a very bad CGI scene featuring flaming bulls that should have been cut. Cool concept, but not necessary. Fun Frank Fact: I've mentioned this movie to Vinny High Life two different times and both times I referred to it as 12 Assassins. I have no idea what that means. PLUS

Funner Frank Fact: When I went to find a picture to add (see above), I typed in, "12 Assassins." WTF? Good thing The Distillery has a CAT scan function.

SMC Podcast 2.4

Tim Burton gets run through The Distillery and the results are shocking.

Download here.

Catching Up

So I was laid up for a few days after a life and death surgical procedure (don't worry, I lived) and was able to catch up on a few films. No, that doesn't explain my lack of recent posting, but some things in life are destined to remain a mystery. Like destiny, for example. Anyway, onward...

Cedar Rapids: Ed Helms takes the lead in this comedy about a sheltered insurance agent let loose at a convention. But not let loose in the Ed Helms overacting way. He gives a very performance here, as do John C. Reilly, Isiah Whitlock, Jr. (with a couple of The Wire shout-outs thrown in), and Anne Heche. Yes, the return of Anne Heche and I have to say I missed her. She was a good actress before her little bat shit crazy phase. Solid adult comedy--not dirty, but something actually not intended for high school kids. PLUS

Take Me Home Tonight: I'm a sucker for dorky guy chasing the girl of his dreams movies and this turned out to be a pretty solid entry int hat genre. My favorite part of this film set in 1989 is that it didn't exploit its time period like so many of these forced "nostalgia" movies do. There weren't any "Hey, look at my zany 80s outfit" moments. Which, of course, is what worked so well in all those classic 80s films that so many idiot filmmakers try to rip off these days: they were contemporary movies. They were "80s movies" because they were made in the 80s. Did this movie need to be set when it was? No, but at least it didn't make me feel that way while watching it. PLUS

Gomorrah: 2008 Italian film based on a best-selling expose of Napoli's Camorra crime family. I had never heard of the Camorra, which is surprising since it is actually one of  the biggest  and oldest mafia in the world. This is billed as a realistic take on organized crime (compared to the usual stylized Hollywood versions we love so much). This is good. My complaint is that it weaves together 5 different story lines to try to show the Camorra' reach. While all 5 stories are interesting, there isn't enough time with any of them. Then again, wanting more of a good thing isn't really the worst complaint. PLUS

Infernal Affairs: Speaking of crime, this 2002 Hong Kong thriller was the basis for the Oscar-winning The Departed. So, let's get to it: The Departed was better. Or more to the point it was bigger--it's hard to compete against Scorsese, Nicholson, and DiCaprio. Say what you want about the overvaluation of  movie stars, but the good ones are big for a reason. That's not to say this wasn't good. It is. PLUS

I Saw the Devil: Since we're over there, here's a 2010 Korean serial killer movie. Good premise: cop hunts down fiance's murderer and then lets him go just so he can continue to follow and torture him. He becomes just as bad as the killer, get it? This is really well done, but I have to admit a lot of it turned me off. There's a lot of violence and it quickly devolves into torture porn. I actually found myself saying that I didn't need to see everything they were showing. That said, it's still a pretty good movie with some moments of genuine emotional weight. Take that, Saw. PLUS

Night of the Hunter: Went old school here, way back to 1955. If you're not familiar with this film, it's the one featuring Robert Mitchum's iconic performance of evil preacher Harry Powell. No? He has "Love" and "Hate" tattooed on his knuckles. Yeah, that movie. And you know what? Mitchum is something else, although never quite as terrifying as the film's reputation would lead you to believe. It suffers simply from being an older film. They just couldn't make movies as well as they do today. Technically, speaking. This does look good, though, and a lot different than most everything else from that period. Also, there's even a strong child performance by Billy Chapin, which as you know is never a given. Stupid kids. Everything considered, PLUS

All pluses? I know, right? Different levels of plusdom, but a good run nonetheless.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Best Superhero Film of 2011: easily this is the line I would use on the new Marvel addition of Captain America. When I heard Chris Evans was cast I was overjoyed. Evans was the only thing good about the Fantastic Four Films and his acting in the Danny Boyle film Sunshine made me a fan. The outfits are perfect for the era and dark hero era we are in. The Period Piece is perfect and origin story is great (there are no dead parents to avenge or long lost love)...the pacing I thought would be a slow beginning like most superhero origin films...but the technical marvel of shrinking Chris Evans proved to be the right move...its not creepy like in a Benjamin Button way. The Enemy is perfect with Hugo Weaving as the Hydra leader (still not as bad as real life bad guy Adolf Hitler)...the film is funny and has a great sense of action...I kept thinking this was the PG-13 version of Inglorious Basterds (rag tag team on a hunt for Nazis)....they surely have the cliches like the grizzled veteran Tommy Lee Jones who is tough on old Cap...but Jones is funny as heck in this film...Even side Kick Bucky was pretty freaking Awesome...the love interest is good and believable...unlike in Green Lantern ...This is a definite PLUS....BUT...

The dark cloud is hanging over this film...

1st: Is it the best Comic Hero Film?..NO..Dark Knight in my opinion is #1...so Captain America is like a slight shade behind the original Iron Man...Iron Man 2 was very weak and maybe stains the original...Cap is close to Iron Man in the fun and excitement...but Iron Man did not have to have THE DARK CLOUD OF...

2nd: The Avengers Cloud has fallen:...Iron Man stands as a clear stand alone film...then came Hulk (which Marvel ignores because of Ed Norton)...then Iron Man 2...then the link with Thor and now Captain America has no way...no possible way to stand as its own film as it was released by Marvel...we have to link all these films together so that The Avengers will make sense...That to me ruins Captain America...or at least makes it a lesser film then Iron Man...the keys to the stain on Cap is this Cosmic Cube and Asgard and Tony Star's father and the other hints and clues throughout that take us out of the Captain America and force us to see this film as part of a series (maybe that's a good thing because comics do this all the time..but Film?)...even the start and ending and the ending after the credits make me feel like I need two versions of Captain America...the film is so good I want to see it with no reference to the Avengers...which may turn out to be terrible (maybe thats the plan to eventually make me double dip and buy two versions of every marvel film...which I would be a sucker and do I must admit)...

3. Last bash on Cap...there is one scene where Cap is on a motorcycle and gonna kick some Hydra Ass...he takes a ramp /CUT/ then lands/CUT...we never see the entire jump...how hard would it be to have some stunt guy on a cycle jump a ramp and land...it would have looked freaking awesome...but instead we get a jump cut...that's like watching porn with no screwing and only money shots...

So Captain America is Awesome...go see it and be freaking patriotic about it

The Adjustment Bureau

I get crap sometimes for not taking Franco's advice on entertainment experiences...most times I am just slow in my consumption of the films and other times I am just waiting to be ready to experience the film or TV show or whatever (I will get to the shield someday)...but I am always interested in what my BFF suggests. He did say this Matt Damon film was good and I agree...it's definitely a PLUS...it has a lot of sci-fi fantasy stuff I love...watching this made me think of Dark City, Gattaca, and Guys and Dolls...(more on that later)...I also loved Matt Damon in a role like this along with Mad Men star John Slattery and newcomer to me Anthony Mackie. The action was paced well and the sci fi for the most part was unique and refreshing (also as a side review I saw Source Code...not as groundbreaking as Moon but the Duncan Jones film was good and similarly paced...thoughtful and like Groundhogs Day meets 12 Monkies...what I hated was the acting by all the government workers...)...so I am watching The Adjustment Bureau and inevitably I start questioning some things...here is a list that I came up with:

1. I hate Emily Blunt: I have heard her name mentioned a million times for films but I have never seen her...she is supposed to be this great modern dancer but she reminded me of like the 3rd contestant eliminated from "So you Think You can Dance"...she is no Natalie Portman...and this is a PG 13 film...when did we need the "Love interest"...and a female mind you to have such a fresh mouth...she is obviously a slut in the film...she talks like a sailor and for no reason says the word "Fuck"...since when in PG 13 films is this acceptable...its is needed in Scarface granted...but in this love story where I am supposed to believe that Matt Damon...soon to be President of the US according to "The Plan"...is gonna fall in love with this foul mouthed and pretty ugly slut?

2. The Chairman?...really?...OK so they never say it and obviously its to make the film non-religious...but if they refer to the chairman as pretty much God...why not say God?...I mean obviously when we think "Chairman" we think Frank Sinatra...and these guys who all work for the "Chairman" all are wearing suits and fedoras..like who?...Frank Sinatra...just ridiculous...and no we never see the Chairman...Matt Damon wants the black guy to be the Chairman...but supposedly we all have met the chairman...but we don't know when...WTF?

Anyway I see similar silly stuff in Source Code...not enough for me to give these a minus...I am slow to write here because I have seen a lot of stuff and am trying to get it all wrapped in my head and then blamo...I see another film...well just wait and see what I come out with next...till then...BOOM

SMC Book Club

We are the Kings of All Media. (You should see Vinny High Life's cuneform.) Or, at least, the Kings of Talking About All Media. Though more like a Viscount. By marriage.

Ahem...Announcing the opening title of the SMC Book Club: The Wettest County in the World by Matt Bondurant:

Based on the true story of Matt Bondurant's grandfather and two granduncles, The Wettest County in the World is a gripping tale of brotherhood, greed, and murder. White mule, white lightning, firewater, popskull, wild cat, stump whiskey, or rotgut -- whatever you called it, Franklin County was awash in moonshine in the 1920s. When Sherwood Anderson, the journalist and author of Winesburg, Ohio, was covering a story there, he christened it the "wettest county in the world." In the twilight of his career, Anderson finds himself driving along dusty red roads trying to find the Bondurant brothers, piece together the clues linking them to "The Great Franklin County Moonshine Conspiracy," and break open the silence that shrouds Franklin County.

More importantly, it's going to be a movie. A movie about a book about whiskey? Boom! A movie directed by John Hillcoat (The Road) and starring VHL fave Tom Hardy, Guy Pearce, and Gary Oldman. (And Shia LaBeouf, but I told VHL that I wouldn't hold that against the book). Oh, and it's written by none other than Nick Cave (who's also doing the music).

So, read along and let us know what you think. We'll do a book discussion podcast later this summer.

SMC Podcast 2.3

The Best Picture Oscar winner is, by definition, the best film from any given year. Or so THEY have led us to believe. Now, the truth can finally be told. Or, if you prefer, now the truth can finally be told.

We have taken the Academy to task and unleashed The Distillery on every "Best" Picture. Ever. Hollywood, I hope you're sitting down.




Download the show here.

I Don't Want to Fight with You Club

I like when things are written just for me. This is from xkcd (a very smart webcomic):



Yes, my offer to re-watch this with Vinny High Life is still on the table. Just saying.

Love & Other Drugs

Or, Love & Other Drugs & Anne Hathaway's Naked. A Lot. I'm not saying that's the reason I watched this in the first place, but...I can't even think of another excuse. But then it turns out that the rest of the movie wasn't that bad. Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal have a lot of chemistry and they save a basic romantic formula with sweetness and charm.

This is a good time to explain how I rate these films. Basically, I try to consider each movie for what it is. Just because I give a PLUS to something doesn't mean I consider it the equal of Goodfellas. Something like Piranha 3D is not a work of art. No one at any part of its creation (except probably the screenwriter) ever considered it as such. It was intended to be a campy diversion. And it was, but that doesn't mean I'm putting it in the time capsule next to Citizen Kane. The art of The Distillery system is its simplicity--did you enjoy it, yes or no? Different movies have different stakes, different degrees of difficulty. It's like figure skating. A well-made Holocaust epic is like sticking a triple axel. That doesn't mean your half lutz wasn't technically sound, but, c'mon, a triple axel.

Two other L&OD notes: Check out director Edward Zwick's resume. This guy is way under the radar. I see a sweet distillation in his future. And then there's Josh Gad. If you ever ask me about The Rocker, I will tell you how Gad gave one of my favorite comedic performances in recent years (then I'd probably start talking about Emma Stone, though, sadly, never about star Rainn Wilson). Here, he plays Gyllenhaal's brother and steals every laugh again. I was surprised to see that he hasn't really been in anything else of note. Now that Jonah Hill has followed Seth Rogan into skinnyville, we need a new funny chubby guy. PLUS