Lifetime Movies: 1996

Winner: Swingers

I think I spent less time studying for my SAT than thinking about this year's winner. (In all honesty, I didn't really study for my SAT. Hindsight : Happiness :: Red Hot Poker : Ass.) I can't deny Swingers, though. Our very own Vin told me I had to see it and he couldn't have been more dead on right (thanks, pal). It's one of those movies you just fall in love with. Everything was so right about. Vince Vaughn giving one of the greatest performances of all time. The music. The greatest video game scene ever. And, of course, the most painful scene in movie history: the answering machine message. Makes me shiver thinking about it. Yes, it's money.

That said, I'm still not sure I shouldn't pick Trainspotting. I actually saw this in the theater with Vin while I was visiting him in college. I remember watching it and thinking that movies couldn't get any cooler. Sure, I couldn't understand a lot of it (really, Scotland, learn English). Good thing I went out and bought the screenplay. I did. That opening monologue still gets me. "Choose a starter home. Choose your friends...Choose D.I.Y. and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning...Choose your future, choose life. But why would you want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else." Uh yeah. I chose Swingers.

Films of Note:

Fargo: My favorite thing about the best Coen Brothers films is that they have complete disregard for genre. For lesser filmmakers, this is attributable to a lack of focus and, more likely, a lack of competence. For the Coens, it's just the opposite. They have such a clear vision of what they want to achieve that the film itself, what you are seeing on the screen, is the only thing that matters.

Hard Eight / Bottle Rocket: Incredibly, the debut of both P.T. Anderson and Wes Anderson, respectively. Even more incredibly, both followed the promise showed here to become two of the leading directors today. For whatever reason, a lot of people still haven't seen Hard Eight. They really should.

Jerry Maguire: All the Cuba Gooding Jr. "Show Me the Money" sideshow aside, this is one of the sweetest, best written movies of the decade. Cameron Crowe is at the top of his game and Tom Cruise is at his most naturally charming (as in a jerk you can't help but like. That's not an insult.) But it's Renee Zellweger who takes this to the next level. The Great Paul himself once said her Dorothy Boyd was the most datable fictional character (I have since found a replacement). Too bad she rat poisoned her face.  

Mars Attacks!: I remember that at the time, this was hands down my favorite movie of the year. I saw this the day it opened and left the theater thinking it was going to be a huge hit. The audience was really into it and it felt like everyone was having as much fun as I was. And to think studios rely on small sample test screenings to make hundred million dollar decisions. Screw 'em all. I like this movie.

Slingblade: The film that launched a thousand impressions. Mmm, french fried potaters. A remarkable performance by Billy Bob Thornton. Another actor I wish would remember how talented he was. Also, featured one of my favorite kid actors ever: Lucas Black, always great as the go-to Southern boy.

Welcome to the Dollhouse: Wish this would get more play. This should be required viewing for all teenagers. This whole thing is as uncomfortable as a Favreau phone call. Heather Matarazzo should have won something for her work here.