Playlist: Clash of the Titans

So how bad was it? That's all it comes down to, right? This thing was panned more than Northern California in 1849. So? So, it was ok.

I think most of the derision for this came from the fact that it was released as an upconverted 3-D money grab by a desperately clueless studio. You'd think these geniuses would have learned from their past attempts at colorization--half-assed products will always look half-assed. Not that this was whole-assed to begin with.

My biggest problem going in with this state-of-the-art CGI extravaganza of a remake was that I enjoyed the original so much precisely because it was so old school lo-fi. And that is what ultimately kills this movie. Now, that's not nostalgic bitterness. By all means, take the new technology and make a full-throttle adventure film set in that world (though considering how rich Greek mythology is, why not take a weekend and come up with a new story. Or why not just make a God of War movie?.) Technology is good. But stop using your computer as a storytelling crutch. SFX characters do not automatically equal characters. At least not characters anyone cares about (or as in the case of monsters, characters anyone is scared of). And, no, I have no idea who I'm speaking to right now. As FOB (Friend Of the Blog) Paul has said about video games, too much realism blurs the line of fantasy, which is what games and movies like this should feel like. I think we may have reached the technological event horizon of fun.

Speaking of CGI characters, I have to call a time out on Sam Worthington. I liked him in Terminator Salvation, but it turns out there was a reason he was so effective as a robot. Here, just like in Avatar, he's screen filler. He looks like a leading man, but he has the personality of background scenery. Maybe that's just how he's being directed. Maybe it's just about hitting his marks against the green screen and looking tough. But he sums up the ultimate problem with this movie: it looks fun, but it's not.

And director Louis Leterrier doesn't help. This is an action movie and the action scenes are forgettably dull. Poor editing and worse musical choices. That's a little surprising since I thought he did a good job with the last Hulk film. One of the only good things this has going for it is Gemma Arterton, who's an actress to keep an eye on. Not that she has much to work with here.

So, yeah, it's not awful. But it's not necessarily good, either. If it were on TV, there would be worse things to watch.