Playlist: Alice in Wonderland

Why? Because 15 years ago, this would have been brilliant

Now, however, well...in the last ten years, Tim Burton has made one original movie (Corpse Bride, 2005). His upcoming movies? Frankenweenie (based on his own 1984 short), Dark Shadows (based on the TV show), Maleficent (based on Sleeping Beauty), The Addams Family (based on another TV show and already made into a series of films), and Monsterocalypse (based on a game, so that's different). It's sad, and I'm sad, because another talented artist has apparently lost his way. (Check out his Web site for a reminder of his unique imagination.)

Alice is the culmination of this slide into corporate mediocrity. The film, based of course on one of the most fantastic stories of all time, is lifeless, and even worse, heartless. I had zero investment in the story--it's just a lot of CGI and not much else. Even the acting was a mixed bag. Mia Wasikowska showed a strong presence as Alice and Mrs. Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, was entertaining as the oddly big-headed Red Queen. Anne Hathaway, as the White Queen, came off as a stoned Goth witch. No idea what was going on there. And then there's Johnny Depp. Ouch. This may be the worst performance of his career. I feel like I must have blacked out at some point during this movie because I cannot understand what the point of his character was. He was a relatively sane Mad Hatter with a boring back story that was forced to the main storyline for no other reason than they had to justify Depp's salary. Again, imagine this casting 10-15 years ago. Imagine how insane Depp would have played the Hatter.

I genuinely felt my time was wasted.

(Though check out this picture of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Tell me they don't look like Jonah Hill.)